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In bk2, Talarius agreed to be bound by the Oaths of Hostage to Tom….during the swearing in of all the D’Orcs.
My question is, does this include an oath not to try to escape???
In Alpha 1
[b]Chapter 127
Section: Nysegard, Krallnomton[/b]When Talarius exits from the Doomalogue, he contemplates escape…
[quote]He noted a trail leading down from the ledge to thte village below. Should he take it? Or should he head for parts unknown and escape?[/quote]
Now that Talarius is starting to abide by the oaths he gives to Tom – is thinking for escape out of character because he is contemplating breaking his oath???
EDIT: Just read further and answered my own question ](*,)
[b][size=6]Chapter 117[/size]
Section: Murgatroy[/b]
[color=blue]Beragamos shrugged, “I don’t [b]beleive[/b] so….[/color]” – spelling / typo mistake – should be “believe”[b][size=6]Chapter 120[/size]
Section: Nysegard Storm Lord Aerie: DOA + 2, Astlan Fourth Period, Sixth Period Local[/b]
[color=blue]The Storm Lords were able to repidly close on the cloud ship and get [b]of[/b] a number….. [/color]- spelling / typo mistake – should be “off”[b][size=6]Chapter 121[/size]
Section: Mount Doom[/b]
[color=blue]”We are at the bottom of an infinitely deep pit.” Tizzy [b]sated[/b]. [/color]- spelling / typo mistake – should be “stated”[color=blue]Tom felt a tingle from his rod alerting him to the activation….[/color] – you might want to think about rewording this sentence – I started laughing when I read this, I thought I slipped into reading a badly written porn novel
You could use the term “harbinger”
Definitions:
[quote]harbinger
noun
1. a person or thing that announces or indicates the approach of something; forerunner
2. (Historical Terms) obsolete a person sent in advance of a royal party or army to obtain lodgings for them
vb
(tr) to announce the approach or arrival of[/quote]Tal Gor, Harbinger of Lord Tommus of Mount Doom
Suggestion for the layout of the back cover….
[img=http://www.astlan.net/DesktopModules/YetAnotherForumDotNet/resource.ashx?image=30]Back Cover[/img]
Agreed – but I don’t know what font & color scheme that TAG is using….and the copy of the original version seems to have multiple colors of gold for the text…..makes it a bit hard to sample a color from it to use for the text in my version…
mine was more a test to see what it would be like without the black outline on the text, centered & with dark blur behind the text.
Lenamare soul would need to be on the astral plane for that (i think)…..only way I can see it happening is if someone slipped him a roofie
I think the text is still a bit hard to read….you might want to try removing the black outline around the text and just have plain yellow / gold text
From memory there was a scene in bk1 (in the demon pub in the Abyss) where Tom first noticed the bindings and started to trace his own back to Lenmare…..didn’t he start to sense Lenmare’s surroundings before he pulled back???
Hasn’t it already been established (at least for the Tom / Lenmare binding) that it’s not one way????
Found the section in bk1 – end of Chapter 73
[quote]Carefully, so as not to appear too weird to Boggy and Rupert, who were lost in some tale of Boggy’s, Tom reached out and tried to touch the cord. It was rather amorphous, but he could almost touch it if he really concentrated on it. Thinking back to the things he’d tried with the link he’d formed to Tizzy, as well as to the time he’d traced the summons from the priest, Tom tried to concentrate on following the umbilical cord to its other end.
It was hard, much harder than the previous things he’d tried along this line, but suddenly he got an unmistakable impression of a tower room, and a presence in that room. A presence he recognized immediately. It startled him and caused him to break his concentration, bringing him back to reality. It was Lenamare on the other end! The black cord was some sort of link to Lenamare. Tom was stunned by this revelation.[/quote]
Agree with the gold color for the text….but the problem is the orange / red colors behind the text..
You could try putting a solid black square between the image and text and set the transparency to something like 30%…..you’ll still be able to see the image but it will darken the area where the text is…..you could also do a gradient to 0% opacity at the edges so it appears to fade to the the image
It could be interesting to see Tom start to analyse and manipulate the summoner bond from his side….start pushing the boundaries…see what he could do in preparation for either removing it or reversing it
would certainly freak Lenmare & Jehenna out and add some urgency for them to get the book open….
Here’s a bit more feedback….
Maelen…
When Maelen meets Tom / Edwyrd in bk1….he “Looks” and “Sees” different things about Tom….I assume he does this because it was unusual for him to run into another “Animage” of such power….which leads to some interesting conversations / situations later in the book….
In bk2, Maelen doesn’t meet any other self proclaimed Animages, so these situations / conversations don’t appear…
But in bk3, Maelen meets up with more “Animages” in the form of Hilda as a Healer and Beragmos as a Voyager…..I would assume that he would do the same “Look” and “See” with these two….but there is only a passing mention of Maelen wanting to talk to them in Chapter 117.
I would think that Maelen would be getting a little suspect about all of these powerful Animages that he doesn’t know (as a Seated member of the Society of Learned Fellows) coming out of the woodwork…
I enjoyed the interaction between Maelen and Tom / Edwyrd in bk1…missed it in bk2, because they went their separate ways…..and was hoping to see it occur again in bk3.
Maybe War Arrow is transgender???
Anyone catch the color War Arrow’s armor / barding??? Was it rainbow??
also, to me the word “narrow” implies that the width of the room is smaller then the length resulting in a rectangle – but the sizes 8ft x 8ft describe a square…..
Even with the use of anima jars to capture the souls – I still think this is problematic..
What if:
1. The shamans where the first ones killed in the battle…who’s going to collect the souls then?
2. Enemy action – target the soul jars during the battle and you could loose a lot of potential D’Orcs
3. In intense battle, will the shamans actually have time to stop battling to collect the soul of a fallen fighter?
4. How many souls per anima jar?? Are the shamans going to have to pack 20, 30, 40 jars with them in the fight?
5. D’Orcs are supposed to be the best of the best…the elite…who judges which orcs should be made into D’Orcs especially in the middle of battle…do the shamans just collect everyone and Orcus / Tom sorts them all out later??? A spin on the old “Kill them all and let god sort them out” approachMount Doom took several days to power up, and once it stabilized the first Doomalogue at the Isle of Doom started to charge which was drawing mana from Mount Doom….from memory it was stated that this Doomalogue was the first in the chain – which implies that the Doomalogues power up in sequence…
If a Doomalogue takes a couple of days to power up, even if it’s not as long as the time for Mount Doom, and there are 666 Doomalogues in the chain, won’t the power up sequence take a several years to complete?? Does this mean there will be a power drain on Mount Doom for all that time, or is there some type of exponential growth to the power up sequence with the addition of power from each new Doomalogue as it reaches it’s full capacity?
