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email sent – thanks!

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It would be good to have this explained to the reader…..possibly during the scene where Tom is shown Tartarus….maybe by Phaestu and Volund

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Hadn’t thought about Mount Doom’s mana pool….but that brings up another question / thought…

A big part of book 2 was about restarting Mount Doom, and how it was a mana engine to supply mana to Orcus…..there has been no mention of Tom learning to access Mount Doom’s mana pool from other planes….

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After thinking about Tal Gor’s fight and needing to ask for Tom’s instruction and Tom only having a few minutes to spare at the time before the creating the first D’Orc shaman….starting thinking back to book 2 where it was mentioned that Orcus would / could assist his shamans & warlocks with mana……would it occur to Tom there may come a time when he is busy and can’t supply mana / help to shamans / warlocks in need of assistance especially now that the number is starting to grow…..and maybe thinking of a way that the shamans & warlocks could access Mount Dooms mana pool, like the priests / saints of the Gods do with their mana pools????

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After spending some time recharging mana overnight and thinking about my first pass of the Alpha – here is a question for all the other alpha readers…

Does the use of the Time Periods and aligning scenes to that enhance the book??

I think the introduction of the time periods and aligning the scenes has resulting in all the “small” scenes that I mentioned previously, and a lot of the jumping about in POV. A lot of them seem to be a quick peek in time & place on characters in different planes / areas without achieving some sort of goal or dealing with a situation that advances the plot.

Thoughts????

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I don’t think Lilith and co. have have met or seen Tom in a balling – so can understand them not commenting on his likeness.

Sammael definitely would have met Orcus – but we don’t see much of what Sam is thinking about the situation

I don’t think most of Tiernon’s crew would have met Orcus before hand….although Tiernon probably has and did view the balling of the fight between Tom and Talarius. Although, Tom only used his demon form and a human form that was not Edwyard.

The D’Orcs definitely would notice, but they already believe that Tom is the reincarnation of Orcus

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From memory, in book 2 there where discussions about how Ocrus would create D’Orcs from from Orcs warriors that had died in battle….I got the impression that was something that could be done quickly during the heat of battle….but when Tom creates the first new D’Orc shaman this is a long involved process that needed a lot of preparation….and demon weed

Also, the need to be on a different plane then the orc that died when be making a D’Orc……wouldn’t that stop Orcus or Tom being able to create D’Orcs from orcs that had died fighting beside Orcus / Tom in a battle….you could easily lose a valuable fighter this way???

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Here’s a list of spelling / grammar or general issues / queries…

There are several occurrences of the word “drug” to indicates someone dragged away – not sure if this an issue to do with Aussie vs American language, but it always jars when I when I see the word in this context

[b]Preface: Dates, Time and Previously[/b]
Recent milestones – “[color=blue]…the Archdeom Bess arrived…[/color]” – by the end of book 2 it was established that Bess was a goddess.

[b]Chapter 116 – Mount Doom[/b]
[color=blue]That was the NEVER spoken name of Lilith. Well, not name, insult name.[/color] – these are awkward sentences

[color=blue]Lesteroth nodded, Talgorf chuckled neverviously.[/color] – who is Talgorf, don’t remember him being mentioned before or after this..

[b]Chapter 117[/b]

Murgatroy: Several hours earlier, DOA + 1, Shortly after lunch.

[color=blue]I got in contact with after the battle with Talarius and he….[/color] – seems to be a missing name Tom here

[color=blue]”The keep talking about going across some…..”[/color] – should be “They keep talking

Murgatroy
[color=blue]”You promised to be right out to the site.”[/color] – which site is Jen talking about

[b]Chapter 120[/b]
Mount Doom: DOA + 2, Early Fourth Period

[color=blue]”Had she never been to the Planes of Orc?”[/color] – by the end of book 2 Tom is calling the lands Midgard instead of either the Planes of Orcs or the Planes of Men.

[b]Chapter 122[/b]
Mount Doom
[color=blue]Tom shook his watching Talarius twist and contort in his armor….[/color] – should this be “Tom shook his head, watching Talairus…

[b]Chapter 123[/b]
Murgatroy
[color=blue]”…Lord Edwyrd does employee Rune Magic…”[/color] – should be employ

[b]Chapter 124[/b]
The Inferno: DOA + 4, Late Second Period
[color=blue]”Well, are we not fortunate not to have to deal with that.”[/color] – awkward sentence

Mount Doom
[color=blue]Which was pretty good Tom in Tom’s opinion[/color] – should be “Which was pretty good in Tom’s opinion

[b]Chapter 125[/b]
The Abyss
[color=blue]…a giant Typhoon class submarine from one the Earths.[/color] – should be “from one of the Earths”

[b]Chapter 126[/b]
Tierhallon: DOA +5, Late Fourth Period
[color=blue]”…and Abomination?”[/color] – should be “…an Abomination?”

[b]Chapter 129[/b]
DoomSpa
[color=blue]…a shopping expedition to the Planes of Meat[/color] – did you mean to say “Meat” or “Men” – I could see some demons referring to the humans as “Meat”

Fort Murgatroid: Mid Third Period
[color=blue]”As you are, I am sure aware, this is a very…”[/color] – awkward sentence

[b]Chapter 131[/b]
Rod camp outside of Freehold: Mid First Period
[color=blue]”You are inside our inside our Holy Silence…”[/color] – should be “You are inside our Holy Silence.”

[b]Chapter 132[/b]

Fort Murgatroid: Mid-Sixth Period
[color=blue]He had expected them to focus on his efforts to focus on[/color] – repetitive use of “focus on” in these sentence

The Abyss, The Outpost: Late 6th Period
[color=blue]bulky metal container with a triggered straw on its top… [/color]- I not sure what a triggered straw is????

[b]Chapter 133[/b]
Citadel of Light: Late Sixth Period
[color=blue]Grob shook his again and glanced….[/color] – shook his what?

[b]Chapter 134[/b]
Mount Doom: Late Second Period
[color=blue]Here everything his hydroponics[/color] – should be “is hydroponics”

[b]Chapter 135[/b]
The Inferno: Mid Fourth Period
[color=blue]Gaius commented someone sarcastically[/color] – should be “somewhat sarcastically”

[b]Chapter 136[/b]
Astlan, Orcan Plains, 20 Leagues Southwest of Jötunnhenj: Early Fifth Period
[color=blue]But simply to him, unless he wanted to be a martyr[/color]… – awkward sentence

[color=blue]…but if Lord Tommus could that portal to suck… [/color]- missing some words

Nysegard, Krallnomton Henge: Moments Later
[color=blue]”He is somewhere else, with one the shamans[/color] – should be “with one of the shamans”

from chapter 136 you refer to the A.I where previous when the idea of the beta interface was introduced in the story it was call AII (Artificial Intelligence Interface)

[b]Chapter 137[/b]
DoomSpa: Minutes Later
[color=blue]I know one guy, who chose to flee the hinterlands after the cold spell, he was captured in one of our raids and she tortured him for a solid two decades…[/color] – what cold spell is this referring to?? If is the one at the end of book 2 then the demon could not have been tortured for 20 years….

Library of Doom: DOA + 13, Early First Period
[color=blue]It was like had really grokked…[/color] – should be “It was like he had really grokked”, although I have absolutely no idea what “grokked” means….can only guess from the context

[b]Chapter 138[/b]

Isle of Doom, Krallnomton: Early Third Period

[color=blue]His first thoughts were if concern[/color] – should be “thoughts were of concern”

The Inferno
[color=blue]”He said he pursued and archdemon..[/color] – should be “He said he pursued an archdemon

[b]Chapter 140[/b]

Citadel of Light: DOA + 15, Shortly after Dawn
[color=blue]”It is a myth, some of the most powerful vampires can take on winged bat…”[/color] – this sentence seems to contradict itself, on one hand say that vampires changing into bats is a myth and then saying that power vampires can do it

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These are my initial thoughts and first impressions of the Alpha release…..

[list][*]There seem to be a lot of short/small scenes in this book compared to the previous books
[*]There seemed to be a lot of “book” between Lilith talking with Asmodeus about a trap and the appearance of the Melted Castle and Melissance
[*]Didn’t really get the scene with Tom and his robe in the library, singing and dancing unless it is going to link up with the chapters that haven’t been released yet
[*]Would like to see more of Tom teaching Tal Gor – like the fire trick via the spirit link
[*]When the AII (Artificial Intelligence Interface) was introduced and it was mentioned that Tom could talk to it and it would talk back…I was expecting see conversations or interactions through the rest of the book…but it never happened.
[*]Jen and the crew of the Nimbus really don’t seem to do anything through the book – Jen seems to only make Gastrope squirm a bit with keeping his story straight..
[*]Tom seems to do a lot of bounce back and forth from Isle of Doom and Mount Doom in the last chapters with only 1 significant thing occurring – the creation of a new D’Orc shaman. Also, is Tom dragging Talarius with him or leaving him at the Isle of Doom???[/list]

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Had a problem with the use of the word “emblematic” in the sentence “This seemed to be emblematic of many of Lenamare’s actions” – I’ve never seen the word before (although I did deduce the meaning from the context of the sentence), but still had to stop reading to look up the definition on Google to confirm my deduction.

It’s very rare that I run into a word that makes me stop reading and look up the definition – not sure if other readers will have the same problem that I did.

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Tizzy, you’re just so last century….[flapper]

all the hipster demons are into eating Long Bird pie – a bit like smashed avocado on toast / bagel

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ditto

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I’m always looking for new books to read, but it can be hard to find new stuff on Amazon…there is a look of CR@P out there….so I thought I’d start a few forum threads listing out some of may favorite books in the different genres – if you have any that you can recommend please add to the list..

Here are some of the Fantasy genre books that I’ve enjoyed reading and would recommend to other people…..

[size=7]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Destinys-Crucible-3-Book-Series/dp/B01N7UDDAL/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485121435&sr=1-1&keywords=destiny%27s+crucible]Destiny’s Crucible series by Olan Thorensen[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=onset+glynn+stewart&rh=n%3A133140011%2Ck%3Aonset+glynn+stewart]ONSET series by Glynn Stewart[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N0DQ5CN/ref=series_rw_dp_sw]The Kurtherian Gambit series by Michael Anderle, Ellen Campbell[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Portals-Infinity-7-Book/dp/B01GJ6XRJO/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485121663&sr=1-1&keywords=portals+of+infinity]Portals of Infinity series by John Van Stry[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Ministry-Curiosities-7-Book/dp/B01M7V6I19/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485121789&sr=1-1&keywords=ministry+of+curiosities]The Ministry of Curiosities series by C.J. Archer
[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Imp-Series-8-Book/dp/B01K848GPI/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485121847&sr=1-1&keywords=imp+series]Imp series by Debra Dunbar[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=discord+jones+series]Discord Jones series by Gayla Drummond[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=kate+daniels+series]Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Elemental-Assassin-15-Book/dp/B01D4V5D62/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485122073&sr=1-1&keywords=elemental+assassin+series]Elemental Assassin Series by Jennifer Estep[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Daniel-Black-3-Book-Series/dp/B0198BPZVU/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485122138&sr=1-1&keywords=daniel+black+series]Daniel Black series by E. William Brown[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Pax-Arcana-4-Book-Series/dp/B01BYDCR16/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485122206&sr=1-1&keywords=pax+arcana+series]Pax Arcana series by Elliott James[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=monster+hunter+international+series]Monster Hunter International series by Larry Correia[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N07CD5M/ref=series_rw_dp_sw]Dragonrider Chronicles by Nicole Conway[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Makers-Song-5-Book/dp/B00WTIB0R8/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485122446&sr=1-1&keywords=makers+song+series]Maker’s Song series by Adrian Phoenix[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Mercy-Thompson-9-Book-Series/dp/B019BZPRDE/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1485122500&sr=1-1&keywords=mercy+thompson+series]Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=oldest+city+vampire+series+nancy+haddock]Oldest City Vampire series by Nancy Haddock[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/Dante-Valentine-Complete-Lilith-Saintcrow-ebook/dp/B00FQZX628/ref=la_B002BLOSOU_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1485122697&sr=1-4]Dante Valentine series by Lilith Saintcrow[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_16?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=chronicles+of+elantra&sprefix=chronicles+of+el%2Caps%2C581&crid=229IAVZ04KKWW]The Chronicles of Elantra series by Michelle Sagara[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01FZ8BR8A/ref=series_rw_dp_sw]Bite Back series by Mark Henwick[/url]
[url=https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=kylie+chan]Journey to Wudang series, Dark Heavens series, Celestial Battle series by Kyle Chan[/url]

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For those of you who like Olan Thorensen’s Destiny’s Crucible series….just received this email from the author:

[quote]“Forged in Fire,” book 4 of “Destiny’s Crucible” had been uploaded to Amazon and should be available as an ebook in the next few days (Amazon says 2-3 days, but I’ve seen it 1-4 days). It has also been delivered to the audio company (Podium) who will begin production and likely release around the end of the year. Paperback version to follow as soon as I get to it.

The book is long, and therefore production cost were higher. I’m starting it at 3.99 so you on the mail list can order at the same price as the previous book, then I’ll raise the price in a week.[/quote]

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If your looking for thoughts for the theme park…we could have a

Dragon (demon) petting zoo….

For water / lava slides – why not link them up with the portals – have it start in Mt Doom in the Abyss – go through a portal to one of the Doomalogues circle around and back through a portal to Mt Doom – we could then have the “Tunnel of Doom” lava / water slide – or maybe borrow some of those mining / ore carts and tracks from the dwarves instead of the water / lava – and have the Roller Coaster of Doom

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