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Up til now, Tom has only been focusing on re-activating projects / devices / thingies and widgets that Orcus and crew originally created.
Now that he is starting to settle in as a Demon Prince – he should invest some time into setting up his own D’Skumkworx section…..find some promising talent from different disciplines, eg. mages, animages, demons, shamans, etc – give them a lab in Mount Doom with a healthy Mana budget, limited timeframe and a vague user requirements and let them go…….
Just like an IT Project:
Time
Budget
QualityPick any 2
Just need to make sure that there is a lot of secret D’Squirrel stuff going on
[flapper]
I would also add Darflow to the list..
In the second scene of the book where Tom is negotiating with Lilith’s troops, Tom challenges Darflow to hold him to his oath to be a better overlord, but we only see mention of Darflow and the troops as a whole later in the book as a throw-away comment about them being used in a support role in the Isle of Doom (i think)…
It seems to me, Darflow and the troops could be a good source of info on Lilith etc, that Tom could use….there is no “debriefing” of the troops…
Also, there seems to be no issues or tension integrating the troops who have been enemies for 4,000 into Dooms forces…..
Also, noticed that you started to use the word “dragged” instead of “drug” in the last chapters …..but we now have both terms in the book – need to decide on one term to use and find and replace the others
Some more thoughts to throw out there about Djinn involvement…
Crispin won’t be able to be contacted because he is in the wards at Freehold…and as far as I’m aware he is the only one that can attack Exador directly – because he was attacked in bk2 (unless he was outside the wards for some reason – could be an interesting way for Freehold to eventually find out about the battle at the Citadel)
The other Djinn can turn up, but there are prohibited from attacking anyone unless attacked first unprovoked…..I would assume this includes the Storm Lords, but would this include the dead??? like zombies???
This would put some interesting constraints on how the Djinn could help in the battle – they could sabotage siege weapons, etc
They would have to come in via Tamarin’s link to Tom who is then linked to the Isle of Doom / Mount Doom – which may require some time and / or meditative state on Tamarin’s / Tom’s side
Just finished reading the new stuff.
Main issue that I have is that with all the running around that Talarius has done finding out the real info about demon creation and Tom’s creation / background…..he didn’t once question Rupert being Tom’s son…..I though that would have been one of the inconsistencies with Tom’s story that he would have focused on – with the view of trying to catch someone in a lie.
How about something like this…
Tom shook his head looking at the bulky vacuum thermos mug in his right hand. With it’s button triggered flip lid and pop up straw, it reminded him of something that could by the astronauts on the ISS.
Agreed….when I read this I thought either that I’d missed something…….
or that someone (Tizzy) had done some type of mind alteration on everyone to make them believe that Tizzy had always been there…..
[quote=Iume;6236]Oooooh, The Oathbound Gods[/quote]
I like the term “The Oathbound Gods” – but how much of this is going to be resolved or revealed in bk4 – will it be enough to justify the title
They did determine how it was done from a general point of view – not the specifics of Tom using the arrow heads
[quote]Bk2, Chapter 84
Moradel nodded. “Definitely not. However, the true oddity is that it wasn’t from a single illuminary. The drain was spread out over several illuminaries.” There was a lot of mumbling. “Five in total,” Moradel added and looked around the room. “The Holy Ciphers guarding the illumination streams were hacked. Someone, or something, pierced the illumination streams and first diverted mana intended for the Pool, and then a bit later pulled mana from our avatars, masquerading as legitimate illuminaries. Once the cyphers were broken, they had the authority of the high priests whose illumination streams were intercepted. While none of these high priests would have been able to withdraw a greater miracle’s worth of mana without explicit permission, the individual stream requests were within the limits allowed to the infiltrated high priests. In all, a very complex and sophisticated effort that took us completely by surprise.”[/quote]
I can’t find the reference, but I was fairly certain that Tiernon’s crew did put a team onto finding a way to stop this from happening again
The first 2 scenes of Chapter 126…
Isle of Doom (Nysegard): DOA + 5, Late Third Period
Mount Doom: DOA + 5, Earlier Third Period (Shortly before previous scene)
Story line seems a bit disjointed…..I think it would read better to either switch the order of the scenes or to stop the Isle of Doom (Nysegard): DOA + 5, Late Third Period scene as the volcano explodes…and tack the rest of the scene to the end of the Mount Doom: DOA + 5, Earlier Third Period (Shortly before previous scene)
Hope this makes sense…..
[b]Mount Doom: DOA + 2, Mid First Period[/b]
[color=blue]Lilith’s old forces had all sworn to him, and he had links…….[/color]
This implies that all the demons in the battle joined Tom…..but a good 300 – 400 left….so should probably be
[b]The majority of Lilith’s old forces had sworn to him, and he had links[/b]
[quote=The Author Guy;5327]
In particular, since this is going to editor unfinished, things that change (not insert or delete) in the first half of the book should be addressed sooner. Adding/inserting or cutting is no problem, it’s just when you have overlapping edits merging back gets tricky.
[/quote]
Do you want us to wait for Beta 1 first before providing this feedback – from the discussions it looks like there will be some significant changes between Beta 0 and Beta 1.
When will Beta 1 be ready?
[quote=The Author Guy;5730]
Now, as to what we call it? AARC ARC Proxy Reliquary ???? [/quote]
How about…
Seraphic Arcae or Seraphic Feretory
[b]Seraphic[/b]
adjective
1. of, like, or befitting a seraph.[b]Arcae[/b]
noun, plural [ahr-see]
1. a chest for valuables, used in medieval Spain and Italy.[b]Feretory[/b]
noun, plural feretories.
1. a container for the relics of a saint; reliquary.
2. an enclosure or area within a church where such a reliquary is kept.
3. a portable bier or shrine.
