Beta 0 – Chapter 118
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[b]Mount Doom: DOA + 2, Mid First Period[/b]
[color=blue]Lilith’s old forces had all sworn to him, and he had links…….[/color]
This implies that all the demons in the battle joined Tom…..but a good 300 – 400 left….so should probably be
[b]The majority of Lilith’s old forces had sworn to him, and he had links[/b]
Mount Doom
[color=blue]”You have not seen my mistress!” Reggie chuckled and gave Boggy an [b]example leer[/b].[/color]
No sure what an [b]example leer[/b] is …. should this be “sideways leer” or “suggestive leer” or “sly leer”
[color=blue]Each viewer suddenly knew what the person whose memory they shared knew, they could remember the events of the last several days, the fear the siege.[/color]
Missing a “,” between “the fear the siege”
should be
Each viewer suddenly knew what the person whose memory they shared knew, they could remember the events of the last several days, [b]the fear, the siege[/b].
[quote=GameGraphix;5389]No sure what an [b]example leer[/b] is[/quote]
Yeah, that’s weird even for my random usage of the English language.
It should be “Reggie chuckled and gave Boggy a suggestive leer.”
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