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WinterMember
I also love a good beta book, put me down
WinterMemberi love, beta season, sign me up again
WinterMemberso… in the latest beta Stainsberry was added to some scenes and for the most part i think its a good addition, but occasionally he takes away from some of what talarius had in htose scenes.
for instance in 146 there is a segment,
“Who are these – uhm – gentlemen?” Talarius said
was changed to
“Who are these – uhm – gentlemen?” Stainsberry said
this was a lot better as Talarius’ line, for me it really showed that he had stopped thinking of demons as [i]’Demons'[/i] as he struggled to use the term [i]gentlemen[/i], it represents an important fundamental change for the character as these are specifically Demons not D’Orcs but full Demons and he is seeing them more as people now not [i]Evil[/i].
When the line is changed for stainsberry, it sounds like he’s having trouble saying something he already knows, Demons are not always [i]Demons[/i]. also the phrasing just seems odd for stainsberry.
WinterMemberHmmmm, How do you want the 4th book to start? and i know that they are all considered one book but from a practical perspective they are functionally separate
so… knowing that how will the 4th book start with a down beat or an upbeat?
are we mopping up? party’s over time for the cleanup? or, are we moving on to the next pub in a pub crawl?its an interesting problem, i think i agree with the half-half approach, major cleanup should probably be complete leaving the citadel able to complete the task. tie a knot in the story threads that are currently being explored and active.
WinterMemberthe gods seem very bureaucratic,
“Dear [u](insert name here)[/u],
We have received your prayers, as a resident of nysegard we would like to assure you that your concerns are our highest priority, however, we regret to inform you that the circumstances of your imminent death do not meet the level of threat necessary to deploy saintly knights. We realize that this is extremely inconvenient and apologize for the imminent and permanent consumption of your immortal soul by the unlife, and regret any inconvenience or discomfort that this may cause.
we look forward to your safe arrival in Tierhallon.
yours Truly
Saint Desultorius
Patron saint of Process, Bureaucracy and Paperwork
“WinterMembersomething occurred to me as i was reading the latest updates, ill try to explain it here.
So far within the books, we’ve seen many saints, but one thing they all seem to have in common is that they are generally your basic priestly saints.
what im wondering and what i wondered while reading the battle scenes is…, With all the Fighting on Nysegard i’m Where are the Saintly Knights Rampant?
Standard saints are pretty good, but i can only imagine the destruction a squad or two of saintly knights rampant could reap upon the unlife. we’ve seen them practicing in front of Tiernon, so surely they would love nothing more than to be let loose and go Rampant on Nysegard but instead all we seem to get are your standard priestly saints? As prideful as knights rampant generally are i can only assume that saintly knights rampant are even more so, and so it is almost inconceivable that they are happy just chilling up in tierhallon doing some exercises and drinking tea or what not when such a great knightly crusade against the necromantic unlife is occurring.
its a battle for the end of a world and a way of life, bring out the big guns, deploy a saintly knight Rampant or two or three to combat the unlife.
WinterMemberis it really problematic though?
it doesnt sound like there is anything preventing the association of dis/rupert with the grove,
as orcus took care of the orcs so too could dis/rupert associate with the grove, hell the whole return to the source of life, the richness of the soil and later rebirth, renewal and recycling of life thing sorta fits with the story, kinda makes it sound like dis was responsible for the rebirth of himself and orcus rather than his fatherit could an interesting point to weave in some grove story.
WinterMemberi dunno, my dog always loved moldy meat.
fresh bone, pfft, no thanks!
bury that thing for 6 mnths to let it tenderize then enjoy.
WinterMember[quote=The Author Guy;4499]pearly!
That is the description I need.[/quote]
pearlescent
opalescentWinterMemberdepends on the type of kangaroo, if its small, just ignore it
but if its a big one go inside and hope they go away soon, but generally kangaroos are pretty passive unless they feel threatened. but obviously don’t deliberately go near a big kangaroo.
The biggest kangaroos are taller than people and much stronger but thankfully there aren’t too many of them. most kangaroos are more reasonable sized.
[img=http://pixdaus.com/files/items/pics/7/94/577794_9f2b6ecf4df496735a9a9cca198947eb_large.jpg]Roo[/img]
[img]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BEzehydCAAArlrN.jpg[/img]
WinterMemberHi, I’m Tal Gor …
Bearer
Bringer
Harbinger
Legate
Consul
Champion
Emissary
Prior
Envoy
Hand
Attache
Adjunct
Cohort
Forerunner
Signifier
Tribune
Messenger
Herald… of Doom upon Astlan
WinterMember“Tal Gor, Emissary of Lord Tommus of Mount Doom”
is this the right term to be used with an orc?
casually looking up emissary in a dictionary it has variable definitions but some are pretty diplomatic
such as “a person sent as a diplomatic representative on a special mission.”, is that the sort of language that an orc would feel comfortable with?WinterMemberI’ll invite others to chime in with their opinions but i think your banging this particular drum a bit too loudly or perhaps just too often?
the references to tisdale the wizard are perhaps too many, too often, and perhaps not quite subtle enough, i don’t know for sure where the references are leading but ive got a pretty good idea
this reference mentioned and repeated as often as it is in this version i can only conclude that it is of critical importance to the story and it is intended to be an obvious drawn conclusion for the reader on the nature of tisdale the wizard. not that this is bad, but perhaps a greater degree of subtlety is in order?
maybe someone else can add their own thoughts but i feel a bit like ive been beaten over the head with tisdale the wizard
WinterMembervasselle considers tom a god like being, so it is appropriate in his mind that tom have avatars, like any god, so he is referencing the D’Orks here
WinterMemberi think some of the issues with these (sitting out) characters are causing the book to feel like it has reduced in scope, what i mean in where book 1 and 2 felt like it was formed of multiple of threads interwoven stories, book 3 feels like the thread count has been reduced.
we can tell that events occur with these non-participating characters especially jenn and gastrope but its not mentioned or at least not mentioned in detail. events or interactions you’ve though about yourself but not written down on paper aren’t transmitted to the reader. its not like nothing happens for these groups we just dont hear about it, which is sad.
i have to re-read but at first glance there seems to a lot more opportunity for inclusion of jenn/gastrope group aboard the nimbus’ story. With their conclusion of the investigation and concerns of orc/alvar conflict and conclusions/discussions/comments/motivations and/or perspective on current events. As a group these characters seem to make some determinations about events and how they will respond that are not known to the reader. seems lie a great opportunity to include these characters and weave back into the story those other threads. While ive commented on jenn and gastrope specifically the same applies for the other characters; lenamare, tris, exador, ramases, the grove, the alvar, the council, Oorstemoth etc…
you’ve got great characters, weave some more of their stories into events lest it start to seem lie its all Tom 24/7 following that single thread.
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