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I’ve read your bokok 4 times now, plus there were new books released last week by D. Rus and Terry Mancour that i needed to read.
Overall i enjoyed it. There were parts that I found tedious (the Jenn and Gastrope stuff) I sort of understand why you put it in. The problem is that neither of these two are really interesting characters, they aren’t coming into their own or really developing much, so basically there narrative is just bassically about them being along for the ride.
Personally I thought Hilda was the star of the book. She has so much character. Frankly I’m hoping that she gets taken on a top secret spying mission into Mount Doom.
There was a lot of padding. A lot of the Bess scenes, Randolf scenes, Exitor scenes could have been trimmed or combined into one.
There were a lot of typos, which I’m sure you will get to eventually (P.S. Incase nobody else mentons it, on page 281, there is conversation with Antefaulken, Vanelle, and Damien where Tizzy suddenly opens a door even though he is not in the room.)
I personally am not a big fan of all the D&D references. I’ve read too many self published fantasy novels which use Role Playing Games as a crutch. You don’t, but still…
There are a couple places where, well when Hilda describes Talairus’s battle with Tom on page 23 they ask “Surely they gave him help!” But when Hilda watches the balling later on, they are horrified that the priesthood is helping him.
Not sure this is a big deal but as far as I know you cannot overdose on pot and yet Reggie sort of does just that.
[img=http://www.giangrandi.ch/optics/spectrum/visible-a.png]Spectrum[/img]
I don’t know if, strictly speaking, this is a mistake but…
Roy G. Biv
Red – 1st order demon
Orange – 2nd Order Demon
Yellow – 3rd Order Demon
Green – 4th Order (Greater Demon)
Blue – 5th Order (Arch Demon)
Indigo – 6th Order (Demon Prince)
Violet – 7th Order (Demon Emperor)Technically I suppose there is also a infrared and ultraviolet since they are parts of the spectrum, but they aren’t really relevant.
Anyway in the book the author writes:
“… There was one light blue light with a slight turquoise tinge and two rather dark blues. There might be more, but there were at least three. Three Archaedemons! In one place! At one time! Talarius prayed. He prayed deeply and sincerely. He prayed that this test might not fall upon his shoulders. A challenge of one Archaedemon he’d foolishly looked forward to. But three at once! Talarius had never known fear, at least not of anything physical or tangible, and he didn’t believe that was what he felt now. Trepidation might be the word. Whatever it was, Talarius did not enjoy it. ”
As you can see from the chart blue and spectrum I’ve included, there was actually only one arch demon. The two rather Dark Blues would count as Indigo and would therefor be Demon Princes.
[img=http://digital.coolspringspress.com/rp_columns_images/images/4877.jpg]Indigo Pigment[/img]
Indigo Pigment
Something like this maybe (which isn’t very good, but it took me all of a half hour to do)
[url=http://postimg.org/image/457zlju0z/][img]http://s13.postimg.org/457zlju0z/demons_cover.jpg[/img][/url]
If you redo the cover go with something simple. Maybe a stylized ram’s/steer’s horn leading into the barest hint of the top corner of a demon skull, on a black background. Hint more than anything. Fantasy folk tend to want to create whole narratives on covers, but that is simply bad design, bad aestetics.
In the book when Tom falls into the Abyss it is described as being just basically 2 planes below astlan. So the obvious question is what it is on the plane above it?
Please, no more 3D art! It is incredibly bad. Comparatively it makes drugged out crazy Amanda Bynes look low key and classy.
I completely agree with the sentiment expressed here:
http://romanjones.deviantart.com/art/Ugly-Book-Covers-Demons-of-Astlan-455458270
Since we are asking pointless assinine questions, I thought I would ask one of my own.
Snakes use their tongues to smell and sense vibrations. The forked nature is about depth perception (like eyes), but for different senses.
So the question is this if tom closes his eyes and flicks his tongue out can he tell you that you are standing right over there from your B.O. If he licks railroad tracks can he tell if a train is coming.
While I too think that rupert was the green, I’m not entirely convinced that any of the three blues were tom. Remember the Rod said there were 3 archdemons and at least one 4th. At least implies potentially more than 1.
As for Rupert, he could be:
1) time travel spawn. Tom goes back in time and has sex or tom has sex and his partner goes back in time.
2) time travelled tom. In order to muddy his true name tom goes back in time, takes the form of rupert, enrolls in the magic school…
3) multi dimensional father. It has been said that demons visit other dimensions and have children there to have a mana source. Tom & rupert could have had the same father, who was simply spreading his inter-universal seed. i.e. Tom was already a demon on earth, he just didn’t know it.
4) role model. Rupert could be just emulating the only role model he’s known.
5) spontaneous generation. Something weird could have happened during tom’s binding, and a fully formed rupert could have split off and sontaneously formed in everbody’s head
6) spontaneous generation. Something weird could have happened during Ruperts childhood causing tom to shape himself into Rupert when he was bound.At the start of the book Tom kills a dragon for his cave. Demons at least have possessions, stuff that they bring back from Aslan or trade for in the courts of chaos. Don’t dragons do the same thing. I’m not expecting smog-like piles of gold, but the cave had a previous occupant, where’s it’s swag? Or has Tom just not had time explore the whole cave?
