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So got a note from the editor this morning.
Her schedule in December is going to get tight, but if I get it to her in November she can get it done in 3 to 4 weeks.
So…going to go into overdrive to get her a version in November and maybe send her updates later in the month as we change things.
So we should be good for Jan 1.
That’s a big part of what I was going for. Previously we’ve always seen both sides of the story.
Storm Lords are the one group we haven’t seen the other side of, they’ve been “generic evil bad guys”
So one of my goals is to make them real too, and actually have individual motivations.
Sort of like Finn in SWVII, take the storm trooper helmet off.
The problem with a Tizzy input is that no one at Mount Doom knows about the Dark Apostle, or not much, nor the Mind Reaver stuff that the wizard tizzdale was doing.
Good points, and he is going to be praying between Wedding Scene Follow up and the leavetaking for the Citadel.
Of course, Tiernon won’t get his prayer mail until after the battle is in progress, when he can’t get back to Talarius due to the beacons.
A ghoul is someone that is infected with antimus, and in order to survive, and not age and decay, ghouls have to eat live flesh (or very very fresh flesh)
ghouls are alive but very sick. They are driven by ravening hunger for flesh (they can’t get enough from blood to satisfy their needs as they can’t process blood like a vampire)
ghasts are ghoul “bosses” (in the game sense) they are ghouls that can mostly control their hunger, either because they are very old ghouls and have adapted and can better process animus when they eat, or various other possibilities, perhaps they were drain more and got close to being a vampire.
a wight, is a zombie ghoul or ghast.
Yes, will be filling this out/fleshing it out, so to speak.
Well, it’s going to be close, and it’s going to depend on the editor’s schedule and the holidays. She won’t be getting the book Nov 1, not sure how long after that and what her schedule is like.
When I had her do the revision for book 1, that was Jan 1 and she wasn’t busy and it took her 4 weeks. For Book 2, that was August and she was busy and that took 6 weeks.
She is not busy now, and she says this is her slow season, so that means 4 weeks….but there are holidays. So I don’t know at the moment
I would really like to have it out then, but the holidays are a big “if”
[quote=Mikey;4862]Astlan, Stone Finger Camp: Mid-Fifth Period
[quote]“I fear my sword and I,” he patted Ruiden resting against his chair, “are having a bit of a crisis of conscious.”[/quote]
Conscience?
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoK3po2rJUQ[/youtube]
Or a mental disgreement with Ruiden? It’s really not clear.[quote]Well, Logoi is a decent kid, most of the tie.[/quote]
Time? And isn’t Logoi plural? Do you mean Aletheia and/or Pistis?All in all, really good shit. But you’re introducing [b]a LOT[/b] of characters in this book, and especially at the very end.[/quote]
[/quote]
Thanks!
Fixed all of the above as suggested.
My brain is sort of fuzzy but not sure how many “new” characters there really are. Rede and his father are the main new ones I can think of, and they are definitely at the end.
Oh…all of the avatars. ](*,)
Yes. I don’t see those as major characters though, and I am thinking of having an appendix listing who all the avatars are and who they work for.
I really wish Amazon would get their X-Ray crap fixed/straightened out. They killed off the main X-Ray site (forget the name) in favor of goodreads, they were both purchased by amazon, one did X-Ray and the other, goodreads, got readers. Unfortunately the good reads metadata editing does not work properly for characters.
Of course, we also have Krinna, Namora and Hendel showing up in Chapter 143 as well…but they were technically mentioned before hand.
[quote=Iume;4845]open a gateway to [color=red]her[/color].” –> [color=red]here[/color]
Is Estrebrius still with them after all this time (eating dinner presumably some hours later)? They are conversing w/ Damien in universal since there is none of that stilted Trade-speech.
to simply be minding –> to be simply minding
this Restoration of Glory and these plans the orcs had made him a bit nervous. –> that “had made” is awkward. Maybe: “this Restoration of Glory and these plans the orcs were [color=red]making had[/color] him a bit nervous.
[/quote]Yes he is there, I will insert something to make that clear.
Changed to:
Damien looked at the warlock but said nothing. To date, Tom had seemed quite honest, unassuming and to be simply minding his own business; however, this Restoration of Glory the orcs kept talking about made him a bit nervous.
[quote=Iume;4845]Actually saying this aloud made me realize the awkwardness: “He let those who wanted [color=red]to leave go back to Lilith[/color] or run away to somewhere else; those that wanted to [color=red]swear allegiance to him stay[/color] and move in.
Reword: He [color=red]permitted[/color] (more aggressive, shows dominance) those who wanted [color=red]to leave the choice of returningto Lilith[/color] or running away to somewhere else. Those that wanted to [color=red]swear allegiance to him could[/color] stay and move in.[/quote]
[/quote]
Changed to:Vaselle nodded, “Yeah, being demons none were permanently killed during the battle, just severely wounded and not allowed to regenerate at the end. He permitted those who wished return to Lilith or run away completely do so; those that wanted to swear allegiance to him stay and move in.”
[quote=Giwdul;4847][quote]Thrinarv shrugged, “My people have a more casual relationship with our gods than you humans, or the alfar.” He nodded his head sideways to Stainsberry.
“I actually don’t follow any single god, as you know.” Stainsberry said. “Our order is faithful to and respects all the Gods of Light.”
“So when you die? Where do you spend eternity?” Talarius asked, puzzled.[/quote]
The way this conversation flows, kinda reads like the [h]our[/h] is referring to Thrinarv, Stainsberry and Talarius not the El Ohim.Maybe something like this:
[quote]
“The El Ohim actually don’t follow any single god, as you know.” Stainsberry said. “Our order is faithful to and respects all the Gods of Light.”[/quote]
Or this:
[quote]
“I actually don’t follow any single god, as you know.” Stainsberry said. “My order is faithful to and respects all the Gods of Light.”[/quote]Or, maybe I am getting caught up on something that is exactly the way it should be?[/quote]
This came up in another topic. I “fixed” it by capitalizing Order, as in the Order of the El Ohim.
However, not completely sure that’s correct; could do the my order thing instead if you think that’s better.
Good catch on mirror.
Yeah it would be nice if I could give out red shirts, or color code people’s names.
Not really sure how to handle it other than to simply charge forward. It’s actually a bit bigger problem with this multiple points of view TV show editing style.
At least with GRRM, you have limited POV characters with their own chapters and you know, by this point, that every single character in the book is wearing a red shirt and to not get too attached. I’m still pissed about Ned Stark 20 years later.
The only real question is, will the character be resurrected in some manner, because ‘all characters die’ is the series motto.
In a later alpha I upped the discussion of Tiernon and Torean to talk about Olympian Tragedy etc.
However, you are right about the killing of Orcus and family issues.
I need to up the references earlier across the board.
Thinking about a hint when talking about Eris being locked up with Tom and in the discussion about Olympian Tragedy and not wanting the Olympians to know I will add that Zeus is not happy about his daughter going missing and then Orcus getting killed. Of course, people might interpret Zeus being angry about Orcus dying because he holds the key to Tartarus where all Zeus’ prisoners are but…
Very few people in Astlan know the Abyssal switch, for one thing you have to “know” the abyss better than most wizards do, or want to know.
Yes, Exador was able to control where people went. He always swapped with the same spot in the Abyss, even from different spots in Astlan. He needed a region that he new would be relatively “safe” from prying eyes and other threats in the Abyss.
[color=darkred][size=5]Aha!
[/size][/color]
I went back to the Torean and Tiernon discussions to do more foreshadowing.Low and behold, I’d completely revealed the Wedding Party in my updates in their second meeting with this line:
[quote]
“Do you have the skill?” Torean asked.“No.” Tiernon shook his head. “I can think of two people that I know, off the top of my head that could do it. Unfortunately, Sentir Fallon severely pissed both of them off by killing Orcus; and neither has spoken to me since then.”
“Well when you permanently slay the leader of the pantheon; it does tend to annoy the other members.” Torean said.
“Pantheon?” Tiernon chuckled, “you remember how much Orcus hated people referring to the Tartarvardenennead as a pantheon.”
Torean grinned back at his brother. “Remember how he nearly punched you in the face at the wedding reception?” They both laughed.
“Over forty thousand years ago and I still remember.” Tiernon shook his head.
“That reception should have been our first clue as to how bad an idea the marriage was.” Torean reminded his brother.
“Things certainly went downhill from there, for both families.” Tiernon nodded in agreement, his face becoming much more somber thinking about his father and step-mother.
[/quote]This was an update that was in Alpha-3 but not Alpha-2. To be fair I forgot it myself in our discussions.
I have also updated the first discussion when they talked about war with the Olympians, and clarified more on the prisoners, talking about Hephaestus wanted the Olympians to go to war over the slaying of Orcus, but Zeus not willing to go that far; however, if he had known about Eris, then there would have been war.
You would have had to go back to that chapter and read it again being aware that it was there, so you didn’t miss it in mind numbing mode.
I should have told people that it was there, and to explicitly read it…but I forgot.
I wrote the new lines, specifically to setup the Wedding Party, and then completely, totally forgot that I had done so until I was reading through looking to see where I could foreshadow.
If the guy the wrote the lines can’t remember he wrote them, how is someone re-reading for the umpteenth time going to know to look.
Of course now in beta 1, it will probably seem like I am hitting people over the head with this family relationship thing.
No,
I really appreciate you taking the time. The editor sometimes misses stuff. I’ve found stuff wrong in the edited version of book 2 for example.
The more we can clean up before going to her, the better.
Also, she’s reading at a very technical level and so a lot of contextual things she will miss. I.e. things that are technically correct, but clearly are wrong words within context. E.g. “our order” is something she might not catch, or she might, but it’s hard to say.
The more eyes the better!
Thanks
