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Hi,
Still going on Beta 1, this is going longer than I expected, Doom Busting is hard work.
Currently Beta 1 is at 269,293 words. It will be at least 275,000 words if not closer to 280,000
Again given that the vast majority of sales are ebooks, and a majority of those are KU–and KU pays by the word….
Story quality is thus the most important thing.
So we do what it takes, whether that’s cutting or inserting.
Anyway, not getting it out tonight, we are building to the end of climactic battle quickly, I have finished round 1 of the climactic battle and am moving or for round 2, I think this battle will be a lot of fun for you, but it is taking a bit of time to figure it all out.
The question of the clean up? And by clean up I mean the forces of darkness that are left over. That we will have to discuss as to how much goes into this book and how much into the next.
T-A-G
[quote=GameGraphix;4491][b][size=6]Chapter 124[/size]
Section: Courts of Chaos, Exador’s Penthouse[/b]
[color=blue]”They are currently preparing a cleanup exercise against [b]one the[/b] larger…”[/color] – missing “of” – “against one of the larger”[/quote]There was a bit more in this section than just that, also needed to work on some consistency with later
This does need to come out, but possibly not right away, perhaps in the later chapters. Or maybe not….
It is not clear how much they really understand the betrayal of Sentir Fallon. They mainly blame Lilith, as for that matter, do the Doom D’Orcs.
In part this is because there is a long history of animosity between Lilith and Orcus. I suspect they may Sentir Fallon as a pawn of Lilith.
I shall think on this; you are right that we need to explore this complexity. I’m going to have to think a bit more on this.
Hi,
OK, so the SL’s are going to assemble their Tomb Gateway back to Necropolis and the Nercology to bring back some Doom Busters.
I have now figure out what they are and how they should Zing things up.
I have gone with the AARCs and updated appropriate references and sprinkled then in earlier so they don’t come as a surprise.
I still have the Dis Pater issue to deal with
I need to write the Tom transition/decision for battle scene, but I know what to do.
Now, dredging up other found issues that do not revolve around scene removal for space or plot speed
There were comments about too little tension early on, I think Has any of this improved, what areas/sections need to get more tension and how much, thoughts?
How are humor levels?
In particular, since this is going to editor unfinished, things that change (not insert or delete) in the first half of the book should be addressed sooner. Adding/inserting or cutting is no problem, it’s just when you have overlapping edits merging back gets tricky.
I am going to add a poll for this one.
According to the font of all knowledge: Google
em·is·sar·y
ˈeməˌserē/Submit
noun
noun: emissary; plural noun: emissaries
a person sent on a special mission, usually as a diplomatic representative.
synonyms: envoy, ambassador, delegate, attaché, consul, plenipotentiary; More
Originearly 17th century: from Latin emissarius ‘scout, spy,’ from emittere ‘send out’ (see emit).
so technically is someone on a “mission” an “emission” of some other authority. So the use is technically correct.
The problem is, our connotation of it is diplomatic as they say above.
So the question is, do we think the orcs/D’Orcs would have the same connotation? They are sensitive to all things diplomatic.
I’ve settled on interlocutor for what the Grove does to handle things like the armistice between the alvar and orcs.
[quote=Burien;5166]I was thinking that when Tiernon heres from Beragamos and sends in reinforcements, that this battle would be an excellent field test of the reversed Excrathadorus Mortis. He wanted to find out its capabilities, i cant imagine a situation that calls for an unlife slaying dagger more. Plus the potential for awkward moments this would cause could be so much fun[/quote]
I know. I thought the same.
Unfortunately, Iskerus somehow managed to ‘lose it’
Tiernon stole it from Iskerus.
[quote=Winter;5179]the gods seem very bureaucratic,
“Dear [u](insert name here)[/u],
We have received your prayers, as a resident of nysegard we would like to assure you that your concerns are our highest priority, however, we regret to inform you that the circumstances of your imminent death do not meet the level of threat necessary to deploy saintly knights. We realize that this is extremely inconvenient and apologize for the imminent and permanent consumption of your immortal soul by the unlife, and regret any inconvenience or discomfort that this may cause.
we look forward to your safe arrival in Tierhallon.
yours Truly
Saint Desultorius
Patron saint of Process, Bureaucracy and Paperwork
“[/quote]The Etonians/Five Siblings are. Not all gods are so bureaucratic.
Remember, it took them quite some time to even figure out what the hell happened after the end of book 1 because the organizational structure is so bureacratic, they’ve been trying to fix that.
However, the chaotic gods are a lot less organized. Very much less organized. Their operations are closer to Lilith’s, or worse…
No, it means that I forgot that I’d listed him as a God of the Grove.
Thanks for catching that. Going to have to rethink/reevaluate the Dis Pater thing (the name only, not Rupert’s story). It makes the Grove situation trickier. The simple answer is that Dis Pater has been AWOL for some time.
Because so many ancients often conflated Orcus and Dis Pater, I felt that Dis Pater being a mini-clone of Orcus (Rupert) made sense.
The actual choice to use name Dis Pater as the previous name for Rupert came later while writing book 2; the listing of the gods of the grove took place between books 1 and 2 and I chose Dis Pater as an earthen god. I then promptly forgot that I had done that.
Interestingly, I kept most of the others in mind, due to their linkage with Hephaestus, but Dis Pater I simply spaced.
Excellent idea. I knew something felt off in that transition.
On the same note/idea, does Talarius seem too “recovered” from the prior revelations when and Tom are in the Shrine and talking about going into battle?
That was where I had been focusing, but you are right. Tom needs a better transition as well.
[SPOILER]
* The Concord of Conciliation is an agreement and associated signatories of pantheons agreeing to a set of rules that govern interpantheon interaction.
* The Tribunal of Conciliation is a tribunal/council made up by a rotating membership of the most senior members of each pantheon (1 god/pantheon)
* The Knights of the El Ohim are the “boots on the ground” for the tribunal; they are responsible for investigating transgressions, correcting problems, enforcing the Concord.
* The Balance is an agreement between the Courts of Chaos (actually the Court of Princes) and the Concord signatories.[/SPOILER]
Well, you are assuming that the wizard Tisdale and the demon Tisdale are the same person.
But remember, Tizzy insists that he cannot shape change. I don’t know if you’ve looked at his picture, but he really can’t pass for human.
Which is why, he was wearing a giant black robe and hoodie in the dark alley when he sold Reggie the demon weed.
Although, if Tizzy is a wizard, maybe he can’t shape change as a demon, but maybe he can cast illusions and on a magic world pretend to be a human, but on earth there is no magic???????????
Bess etal are signatories and members of the Conclave. They are in violation, but no one knows they are in violation.
If they had access to a god pool and accessed it, that might tip someone off. You don’t really want to “glow too much” to demon sight.
She is pretending to be an arch demon so is shielding as it is. The god pool would be risky, assuming they could figure out a way to connect to it via open portal etc.
The portal opened by the Inferno was small and local, just like all the little portals opened by demons that go in and out that way (think the carpet trio at the end of book 1/begining of book 2)
Links, in this case mana links, to gods are surprisingly path like. Meaning they aren’t just automatic, they have to find their way, hence people “follow links” they really are like tether lines.
So presumably, after being broken, links are dangling and eventually wither. If you are gone long enough, you have to re-establish/recreate the link because the old one will die away. If you are gone a short while and come back to the same place, you may be able to reattach to the same link (or maybe it will happen automatically)
For gods and such, this isn’t that be a deal. They just reattach to their god pool when exiting. Clerics, gone long enough, would need to pray and maybe at some point reconsecrate or do something to reconnect. Note that when Talarius got to Nysegard, he had to pray to saints to reconnect and let them find him. It did not just happen.
If you are a computer junky think of them as VPN tunnels. They are encrypted tunnels/paths/links for communicating information and transferring mana. If you break the tunnel (say your Internet connection goes down) you have to re-initiate the tunnel. In fact if “auto ping” isn’t setup on a VPN tunnel, it will time out and stop trying to connect to the other side. So the tunnel will not automatically come back up, even if Internet is restored. It only comes back after you try to “ping” the other side of the tunnel. Which is why sometimes you tell your FW to “ping” an IP address on the other side, this keeps the tunnel alive even if there is no other traffic.
I would argue that using this analogy. If you get back to where your link was (same world etc) the act of pinging/praying should be enough to get the two dangling ends of the link to connect, unless it’s been a very long time. If it’s been a very long time and the link has withered away, you would need to reconsecrate/re-ordain/re-instate the link in a more advanced ceremony. “I.e. rebuild/re-enter the tunnel configuration.”
Hi,
OK, so I have put Alpha 3 out there.
It has grown about 33,000 or so words since Alpha 2 and some very big stuff is happening, questions will be…convoluted….
[i][b]Next stop, hopefully next Friday is Beta 1.[/b][/i]
So how to know what’s new.
Epub–hard to tell given formatting constraints. I would read from 139 on to be mostly safe.
That being said, there are updates to Torean and Tiernon conversations. There are updates to Talarius and Stainsberry at the D’Orcing. Not huge, but setting stuff up.
There are 2 pdf’s. One is DOA_AOD_A3vsA2.pdf. This is a diff document that shows all markup throughout the book, plus comments.
There are some old comments stuck in there, but biggest part is new comments that say updated after alpha 1 or 2 (and I meant 2, but forgot which we were on) so that’s updated. Search on “commented”
However, you can see marked up text in blue where ever something is different from Alpha 2.
Now, in the regular PDF–the page numbering will be off.
This is because I have included the scene headings in the TOC and ones that have changes are in Bold and in the text, they are bold and red.
The exception to this is the sections starting in 141 I don’t mark that, but it’s obviously new.
General thoughts.
OK we are getting to the true meat/tension of the story now. Big stuff is happening.
This is first pass, I think there are a lot of awkward sentences that could use some reworking to flow better. Please advise on stuff you think is really awkward and give me some recommendations on alternatives.
i’m also not sure I am quite getting all the “Panic” that should be setting in. Suggestions for ramping this up are good.
Thanks
T-A-G
