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I agree with Iume that the scene in freehold where Damien and the council quiz Randolf feels a bit redundant.
Possibly rewrite it to be more of a “get everyone on the same page” type of conversation rather than asking Randolf questions that the characters already knows the answers to.
This should be Beya not Ragala-nargoloth. Ragala is on a different plain of reality.
[quote]In total there were five D’Orcs, thirty orcs, including Beya, Rupert and Fer-Rog and forty D’Wargs.
[h]Ragala-nargoloth[/h] had soothed potentially wounded egos by admitting that everyone in their party had started in hunting leathers rather than full armor.[/quote]Schwarzenfürze letting loose next to the cooking fire? Shouldn’t this have caused a fireball or something?
[quote]There was suddenly a loud ripping—thunderous sound from behind Tal Gor as Schwarzenfürze finished eating her rabbit. The putrid miasmic odor that the Crooked Sticks had been getting only too used to caused everyone to start cursing and fleeing the cooking pit to get fresh air.[/quote][quote]“He certainly was. He had to be in order to take on both heaven and hell and survive.” Tamarin said. “Or so I have learned from my studies, he is far before my time, or that of any living djinn.”
“Are djinn not immortal?” Tom asked, surprised.
Tamarin grinned at him. “Not at all, we are mortal, we just live a long period of time.[/quote]
Djinn are mortal? I had no idea! So that is why nothing happens when I rub that old lamp that I found.
I went over every millimeter of that thing and I am sure there was no expiration date, they better fix this before they ever try to link with an orstemoothian, they could end up getting sued for something like that.On a serious note, Tamarin did claim to have “shared visions and experiences with previous military adjutants” in HH:
[quote]As she continued to turn, her eyes came upon Völund. “You are Völund the smith. I have shared visions and experiences of you with our previous military adjutants. It is good to know you are still here.” [/quote]
This at least suggests, if not outright states, that those djinni are still alive. However, her statement about the mortality of the djinni clearly shows that they are not.
Djinn memory library maybe? That would be cool.
Or, a Dninn mnemonic history (like an oral history but composed of raw memories instead). A big package of memories passed down from and added to one Djinn to the next.Harbinger of Doom.
Definitely has a nice ring to it. I also like Apostle but you are trying not to use that (yet).When Tamarin is telling Damien about why the wards in freehold are up, she says that it was Gandros who brought down the meteors when it was actually Alexandros.
[quote]Tamarin nodded. “Yes. Lenamare and Randolf were able to contain him long enough for [h]Gandros[/h] to use meteors to push him through a portal in the floor.”[/quote]When I saw the question above about other beings who speak universal being able to project a Translation Aura, I remembered something from HH:
[quote]Jenn was waiting in line to fill a bucket of water from the wargtown well when an orc behind her bellowed out, “Hilda! You have returned! It is my turn to buy you a drink!” Her first thought was that it was odd to hear an orc [h]speak perfect trade tongue[/h].[/quote]
Is this because Hilda and company are there and one or all of them are projecting some kind of Translation Aura?I also have a question of my own: It has been mentioned in several places that the rules of magic change by varying amounts from one material plane to the next. Would this auto-translation work on a demon-mages’ knowledge of magic?
If a human travels to another plane with significantly different rules, I would assume that he would have to learn the new rules and then adjust all his spells accordingly. But, if a demon does the same thing, will he have to relearn? Or, will his knowledge of magic get auto-translated into the framework of the new universe and he will be ready to rock and roll with zero relearning to do?I am wondering about something:
It has been said in several places that deities and their servants get cut off from the god’s god pool while in the abyss. This is because links can’t go from the outer planes into the abyss.Now, the Nyjyr Ennead moved their operations to the moon of Astlan and let their outer realms collapse. So, why can’t Sekhmekt and the rest of the Nyjyr ennead access their god pools etc in the abyss? If they moved them to the material planes then they should now have access to them while in the Abyss since they are now linking in from Astlan instead of some outer plane.
I had a note about Excrathadorus Mortis (EM).
In AOD Tiernon seems to be uncertain about EM.
During a conversation with Torean he says the following in reference to the dagger:
[quote]Tiernon shrugged. “Mortals have poor memories for history. Its importance was forgotten and it was put into storage and never seen again. When he realized it was missing, Sentir Fallon actually had his agents look into its whereabouts but they were unable to locate it.”[/quote]
However, I remember Sentir fallon claiming to have brought it to astlan in HH:
[quote]“Further, the reversal of Excrathadorus Mortis gives me great pause. You know my history with it, before [h]I brought it to Astlan[/h]?” Sentir looked at the other avatars.[/quote]
Since Sentir admitted to having brought EM to Astlan in a conversation with the other avatars why doesn’t Tiernon know this? Did Sentir Fallon make a mistake with his web of lies here?Hey TAG,
Just finished reading alpha0 for the second time. Awesome!!!
I noticed something towards the end of chapter 133:
[quote]He grinned at her, “I do hope, however, that your chapel can contain a large winged [h]stallion[/h] that we need to bring through?”[/quote]
I was sure that War Arrow was a she so, I pulled up “Into the Abyss – Chapter 60” and sure enough:
[quote]War Arrow was now over the impromptu parade ground and was circling. A fine steed, Talarius thought, a fine friend. He had to suppress a momentary feeling of pride in their work together. Hubris had been the downfall of many a soldier for the good. Talarius would not fall into that trap. Not again. Not ever again. What he felt for his friend was admiration. Admiration at [h]her[/h] spirit and determination in the face of evil. War Arrow had taken him into many a campaign over their ten years together.[/quote]
Is spontaneous gender switching a not widely known property of flying horses?
Could be a thing.I was just thinking that Tizzy has not been verbally jabbing Talarius enough (or at all) in this book.
Two times in particular that I think Tizzy should have been doing something were:
[indent]1) Talarius had just found out about and visited Tartarus and was feeling a bit overwhelmed. This seems like a nice place for Tizzy to show up and funnel some verbal itching powder through this crack in Talarius’ armor.
2) When Talarius woke up after the D’Orking ceremony. I think it would have been cool if he had come to his “Oh dear God! wizards are abducting people to make demons” epiphany out loud and have Tizz be like “Ha! You finally get it, I’m so proud of you etc.. now let’s make a plan to kill all of them” from right behind him.
[/indent]
Tizzy had been verbally messing around with Talarius from the get go in HH. In this book I don’t think that happened even once. Seems out of character for Tizzy, especially with Talarius finally starting to feel a little wobbly on his high horse.Hello TAG,
So, the other night I was giving AOD it’s umpteenth read and I ran across a possible inconsistency that I should have probably caught during beta.
Since beta is over and I don’t know what your policy on updating already finished books is, I am now wondering what to do with it:
a) forget I ever saw it
b) post it here in the old beta forum
c) something else???
So, I have a couple of problems with this section:
[quote]Tom raised a calming hand towards Targh. “No one is saying that we are abandoning them to their fate. [h]We are considering what we can and should do. That is what we are doing for now.[/h]”
“Agreed.” Morok said. “Karmic justice aside, we do have free will. I was simply noting the irony.”
“This situation requires great caution.” Arg-nargoloth said. “We cannot walk into the same trap that befell Orcus.”
Tom nodded. “I think what they are seeing now is the same thing Orcus saw. Although I will note that Nét and Sentir Fallon did have access to the Outer Planes, since they had plenty of mana to draw upon.”
“Perhaps they built in an exclusion for themselves.” Phaestus mused. “We still do not know exactly what they did then, or are doing now.”
“It would behoove us to find out.” Völund said.
“Indeed. But most carefully.” Phaestus agreed.
“Agreed.” Tom said, drawing attention back to himself. “[h]Let us break for the moment and begin determining our options. Before we decide whether or not to help.[/h]” He noticed Talarius looking rather agitated, “[h]We must know what we can put together in terms of a force, [/h]and what we can do in terms of ensuring that we do not repeat Etterdam.[/quote]
[quote][h]“I have not made any decisions yet, Talarius.”[/h] Tom looked to the knight. He was fully armored due to the heat so he could not see his face, but his voice was definitely strained with emotion.
“I understand there is much history, bad history between my god and you, and your predecessor; but I beg of you to consider that they, these people, on Nysegard have kept their oath to your people here! Talarius said.
“I’m well aware of that. That is very important.” Tom said as they moved briskly down the corridor towards Tom’s room. “[h]But the situation is dangerous and we must evaluate what we can do safely[/h].”[/quote]First: I feel that Tom is being very non-committal here. Quite a bit of this book has been buildup to this battle. Things are now at the final pre-battle stage. It seems like a very bad time for Tom to be sitting on a fence about whether or not he should join in.
Tom already knows that fighting the Storm Lords is not a matter of ‘if’ but rather a matter of ‘when and where’ (allegiance ceremonies, thinking about his new responsibilities, Hephaestus working on getting portals working etc…).
Second: This line bugged me “We must know what we can put together in terms of a force” . The D’Orcs are the greatest warriors in the Multiverse, in particular Arg and Darg. There is no way that they wouldn’t have all necessary info at their fingertips, no need for a break to figure it out.
—————————————————————
I tried a few modifications to increase Tom’s decisiveness and ramp it up a little. What do you think?Targh shook his head. “No. They, their ancestors are not responsible for what happened on Etterdam. That was Sentir Fallon and Nét! The followers of the Five Siblings on Nysegard honored their oaths!” Targh was shaking his head. “They honored them then, they have honored them since. It is not just that they befall the same fate. They have been true to their word.”
[h]Tom raised a calming hand towards Targh. “I agree with you Targh, and no one here is saying that we should abandon them to their fate. What we need to do now is consider what we can, and should, do. That is what needs to happen now.”
[/h]“Agreed.” Morok said. “Karmic justice aside, we do have free will. I was simply noting the irony.”
“That said, this situation requires great caution.” Arg-nargoloth stated. “We cannot walk into the same trap that befell Orcus.”
Tom nodded. “I think what they are seeing now is the same thing Orcus saw. Although I will note that Nét and Sentir Fallon did have access to the Outer Planes, since they had plenty of mana to draw upon.”
“Perhaps they built in an exclusion for themselves.” Phaestus mused. “We still do not know exactly what they did then, or are doing now.”
“It would behoove us to find out.” Völund said.
“Indeed. But most carefully.” Phaestus agreed.
[h]“Agreed.” Tom said, drawing attention back to himself. “Let us break for the moment and begin determining our options. We can meet back here to put everything together in 15 minutes (or something like that)” He noticed Talarius looking rather agitated, “We must know what we can put together in terms of a force, and what we can do in terms of ensuring that we do not repeat Etterdam. We also need a plan for getting there”[/h]
“Uhm. Lord Tommus?” Valg raised his hand as Tom stood to leave, allowing his commanders to plan.
“Yes Valg?” Tom asked.
“One more, rather important detail.” Valg said.
“Yes? We need all the information we can get.” Tom said.
“Apparently, there are something like fourteen different avatars of the Five Siblings there. Including the prophet of each of the Siblings, and the head archons for Nysegard for each of the Siblings, as well as four others.” Valg said, causing indrawn breaths from those assembled. “They too are completely cut off. [h]It seems that once the wards went up, the Storm Lords did a fast-strike trying to decapitate the leadership. The Avatars were able to hold them off but several were severely damaged in the process.” (would need setup in a previous section)[/h]
Tom closed his eyes, shaking his head. “Great, so if we break the siege, restore their access, they immediately try to arrest me.”[quote=The Author Guy;5786]the scaling back of Avatars on Nyseguard was Sentir Fallon in a combination of trying to save avatars and also help the the SL (we assume)[/quote]
No need to assume anything, he stated his reasons:
[quote]Sentir Fallon said. “I have been working diligently to withdraw Tiernon’s forces from the plane[h] in order to both assist them and to cover my own—our own—dealings with them[/h]; I don’t want to lose too many avatars and saints…it’s a long story, tangled web issues you might say.”[/quote]
There is something that isn’t quite clear: why does Sentir care about loosing Avatars? I can’t see him being worried about their lives. Does it just look bad on his resume or something?
[quote]“Where did you two meet then?” Talarius asked, puzzled at how they could have met at such a young age.
“The Grove.” The two said at nearly the same time, causing them both to chuckle.
“The Grove?” Talarius asked. “I am not familiar with it. Is that another world?”
“No, it’s more like an extra dimensional space that resides on multiple worlds of the localverse simultaneously.” Stainsberry told him.[/quote]“The Grove?” Talarius asked. “[h]I am not familiar with it. Is that another world?[/h]”
I don’t think that this makes sense. The Grove has been taking up a BIG chunk of real-estate on Astlan for thousands of years, it should be clearly marked on any first, second or third rate maps. The Grove is also populated with Pagans and Monsters, a Knight Rampant of Tiernon would definitely have heard about it (and probably tried to figure out how to invade it). Especially the most senior knight rampant like Talarius.
Maybe have Talarius say something like :”The Grove? But the Grove is in Astlan. Why would you both be there?”
Then Stainsberry could say something like : “Ha Ha. No, the Grove is not just in Astlan it’s actualy blah blah blah….
