Alpha0 – Tizzy and Talarius

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    Tizzy and Talarius seem a little off


    I was just thinking that Tizzy has not been verbally jabbing Talarius enough (or at all) in this book.

    Two times in particular that I think Tizzy should have been doing something were:
    [indent]1) Talarius had just found out about and visited Tartarus and was feeling a bit overwhelmed. This seems like a nice place for Tizzy to show up and funnel some verbal itching powder through this crack in Talarius’ armor.
    2) When Talarius woke up after the D’Orking ceremony. I think it would have been cool if he had come to his “Oh dear God! wizards are abducting people to make demons” epiphany out loud and have Tizz be like “Ha! You finally get it, I’m so proud of you etc.. now let’s make a plan to kill all of them” from right behind him.
    Tizzy had been verbally messing around with Talarius from the get go in HH. In this book I don’t think that happened even once. Seems out of character for Tizzy, especially with Talarius finally starting to feel a little wobbly on his high horse.


    Good points.

    He had been gone for several days, so that did take him out of action. And he was oddly focused for the D’Orcing, but before his trip and after the pressure of the D’Orcing, he should be back to normal and tormenting Talarius.

    Will spice that up. I am thinking between Ruiden and Tizzy, Talarius should be getting a bit frayed.


    And actually see…such things as this suggestion do a lot to establish Talarius frame of mind for what is coming up in the last 20%

    So to my point on the next alpha. Going back to enhance and better establish Talarius’ frazzled state of mind allows me to write a richer version of his character in the last 20%. And that informs and may change his actions.

    All of which, should make his progression more logical, consistent, believable and thus enjoyable.

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