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I would like to see a little more on the inferno.
The last time that we saw them, Melissance was boarding with Salvatore. They have made some kind of agreement about her helping them.
How is she going to help? Aside from functioning as a mouth-piece for Lilith, I don’t see what good she can do (at least not from their perspective)#-o .
Where is the Inferno heading now? Is there any way we could get some idea of where they are going and why? The Inferno and co are currently a completely loose thread flapping in the wind. There is no clear indication of where they will be heading or why.
Is there any way you could develop the Oorstemoothians reasons for going into the abyss? I understand why the rod is there but I am still not clear on why the Oorstemoothians decided to join up. I sometimes have trouble tracking who knows what in the DoA series but as far as I can remember, the Oorstemoothians don’t have much to go on (that I know of).
Mount Doom, Demon Suite: Late Sixth Period
This is the section where Talarius questions Boggy.This section is duplicated in chapters 141 and 142. The occurrence in ch142 is, I believe, the correct one.
[quote]Not seeing it in 141.[/quote]
The occurrence in ch 141 is not in the index (of the epub anyway).In the index I see this:
Chapter 141
.
.
.
Mount Doom: Late Fourth Period
Citadel of Light: Dusk
Day’s March Outside the Citadel: DOA + 17 Late First Period
*
Library of Doom: Late Sixth Period
Day’s March Outside the Citadel of Light: Early Second Period*: This is a chunk that does not show up in the index of the ePub but you can see it when paging through the book
[h]Mount Doom, Demon Suite: Late Sixth Period[/h]This exact chunk is then duplicated at the end of chapter 142.
It has been demonstrated, and made note of in various places, that cloaks of invisibility don’t seem to work that well (Exador’s demon army)(various avatars of tiernon).
This brings me to a question:
[quote]“What are these Cloaking Shields?” Barabus asked.
Halferth looked over to him and replied. “Even as we have magical defenses, shields, against damage we also have Sorcerous Shields that hide us from detection, that make us invisible to most detection mechanism.”[/quote]
Are the Oorsemoothians deluding themselves about their cloaking magic or do they have some type of super advanced cloaks that actually work against demon sight etc?
It seems unlikely that their cloaks actually work since I remember that Talarius was able to detect their cloaking magic even when it was no longer even there in ITA.[quote]What it was, Tom reflected anxiously, was a level at which decisions he and his allies and opponents made could bend the course of destiny of [h]thousands[/h] of beings.[/quote]
I think you should use a bigger number here. Hundreds of thousands or Millions.
[quote]What it was, Tom reflected anxiously, was a level at which decisions he and his allies and opponents made could bend the course of destiny of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of beings. [/quote]
Sounds good.
[quote]The Dark Lord Tommus, heir to the Throne of Orcus, has relit Mount Doom in the Abyss! It is time for the Orcs to reclaim their rightful place upon the Planes of Orc![/quote]
Suggestion:
The Dark Lord Tommus, heir to the Throne of Orcus, has relit Mount Doom in the Abyss! It is time for the Orcs to reclaim their rightful place in the multiverse![quote]Meanwhile, aboard Dante’s Inferno, Oorstemoth and the Rod invade the Abyss on their joint mission to rescue Talarius and arrest Lord Edwyrd.[/quote]
My current understanding:
The Rod believes that the “Demon Lord” Tom is the leader of the bunch that popped up in Gizor Del and then fled via ship. The Orstemoothians talked with the Rod and now want to arrest this demon lord because his minions destroyed one of their ships. They don’t know that it was actually Tom who did the deed.Here are a few little things I found.
M) = Small modification might be in order
S) = Spelling error
*)Suggested modificationM)Oorstemothians have built some sort extra-dimensional paddy wagon
*)Oorstemothians have built some sort of extra-dimensional paddy wagonM)What was the point of being held hostage by a paranoid demon lord if you could not provoke their paranoia?
*)What was the upside of being held hostage by a demon lord if they could not even provoke a bit of paranoia?M)he suddenly realized he could just make himself a bigger.
*)he suddenly realized he could just make himself a bit bigger.M)the largest two studios
*)the two largest studiosM)and exploded as Tiernon had hoped
*)and exploded as Talarius had hopedM)She shook his head.
*)She shook his hand.S)God fortune in seeking the Doom of Astlan
*)Good fortune in seeking the Doom of Astlan[quote]Are you saying that D’Orcs and orcs fought alongside elves? Their mortal enemies?”[/quote]
Elves are immortal thus not “mortal enemies”[quote]he and Arg-nargoloth were some of the very first D’Orcs ever incarnated.[/quote]
Aren’t D’Orcs descended/ascended rather than ‘incarnated’?[quote]He had never seen, nor even imagined, a fortress on this scale. It was quite daunting.[/quote]
Isn’t Mt Doom a fortress that is several orders of magnitude bigger and nastier than the Citadel of Light? The Citadel seems like something that would have previously impressed him but not so much anymore. Similar to how he wasn’t feeling the standard level of awe when in the presence of the avatars of his God.[quote]Tom turned to look at the new painting, also life size, it was a picture of a man in very ornate robes embroidered with runic symbols and emblems that Tom recognized as being tied to animages, and the Society of Learned Fellows. Thus he was an animage, Tom was certain.[/quote]
I am wondering something: How did Tom recognize that those symbols were tied to animages and the Society of Learned Fellows?
I am sure Maelin could have told him about that kind of thing but Tom was pretending to be more knowledgeable than he actually was and so wouldn’t have gone over this with Maelin. So, how did he know?[quote]
It was probably from all the books he was reading, Maelin did give him a bunch of books to read when they were in freehold[/quote]
If I remember correctly, those books were specifically on ‘wizard’ magic not animagic.[quote]he also sends a lot of time in the library at doom[/quote]
Yes but, this happened on his very first visit.[quote]How is?
So, then the plain that was here, with the army on it, is now located is in the Abyss?” Diocate Aeris asked.[/quote]
M) is now located is in the Abyss?
*) is now located in the Abyss?In the DoA series ‘plain’ tends to refer to a whole plain of reality not a flat cleared chunk of realestate. Maybe use ‘clearing’ or ‘field’ instead of plain.
Speaking of Beragamos’ age:
[quote]Beragamos sighed shaking his head. “In seventy-three thousand, four hundred and eighty-three years, give or take a few centuries depending on which planet we are talking about, I have done—I have been—many things, but I swear tonight is the first time that ‘horse thief’ was one of them.”[/quote]This kinda indicates that Beragamos has only been around for 70,000 and change years. Not 300,000.
