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I have trouble buying into the whole “no access to the godpool in the abyss” anyway. Clearly highly refined mana (“godmana”) can be used in the abyss. Wouldn’t that imply that it is enough to have an anchor in the planes of orcs (e.g. through an item or living creature) and then send the mana into the abyss?
It seems a little bit unreasonable to me that they didn’t (manage to) contact Nysegard in book 2 over those stones. It has after all the most important Doomaloggue in the multiverse. I guess it can be explained away, but it does look odd.
Mount Doom: DOA+7, Late First Period Library
It seems unlikely that Tom looks so much like Orcus and none of his enemies ever commented on it before. Lilith and some high ranking people under Tiernon should have noticed.
i found reading the book up to the D’Orcing tedious. We have a lot of scenes that are repetitive (Inferno ship gets shoot at by Mountain Doom, Report to Tom about the attack.) and irrelevant stuff. (124 inferno) Generally there are a lot of times the characters talk about a whole lot of nothing.
I thought Sentir and co. came up with the idea to kill Orcus and Tiernon was in no way involved, but it makes sense considering that Sentir is still alive. That arises the question why Tiernon would want to give Orcus a slap on the wrist. It seems particularly stupid to antagonize somebody, who has power over you.
[quote]They died, i fought it off long enough from my father, who had been trailing us managed to catch up and slay it.[/quote]
They died. I fought it off long enough [color=red]that[/color] my father, who had been trailing us[color=red],[/color] managed to catch up and slay it.
dual – duel in the same subsection
I must admit i didn’t read the two changes since i thought without the scenes before and after there won’t be any point in it.
However they give us some directions where they stand in the hierarchy of power, but like i said before hearing some of their accomplishments could be a lot more interesting, but also more boring.
but from what i gathered in the different planes apply different rules. Antefalke says that they are from a distant point of the multiverse, so how are they able to fight with the different set of rules? Wouldn’t a demon have a huge advantage?[quote=The Author Guy;2659]1) Do we agree that getting rid of the beta 1&2 not-battle with the demons is good? Or do people think keeping that “integration” was better.[/quote]
I agree
[quote=The Author Guy;2659]2) Can the KoC battle be pushed to book 3? If not, I am thinking the publication will have to shift by another month. (not opposed)[/quote]
Well, it would be an awesome start for book 3, but if you do it there will be no real highlight in book 2. In a way the original ending with the integration of the army was better ’cause it gave us something, a big event at the ending. On the other hand Lilith looked rather dumb since, even if the battle would have taken place, she would have wasted 2k demons for no real gain. i don’t think that would be any good for her political standing.
[quote=The Author Guy;2659]3) If we push KoC battle to book 3, I am concerned about the following
A) I don’t want KoC to be too much of a “tack on” in terms of feeling. i.e. annoying
B) On the other hand I don’t want to give too much away about the KoC, because that could “deintensify” things.
->So I need to balance that: How much more build up/background do I need for the KoC stuff not to seem like an “annoyance”[/quote]
It is hard to answer without reading it, but if you just say that the KoC are a great danger, but don’t explain why, well, it could get annoying. So maybe two short examples of their accomplishments with some connections to what we know so farI don’t know what you have planned for the next books(s). But what will happen if you cut the Lilith, the Oost…, the Rod (with exception of Hilda and that sword) and the council scenes out? They give us some background info, sure, but i don’t think they are important.
Well, he does make a good cliffhanger.
i think a lot of the scenes written from the perspective of secondary characters should be cut out and if we lose some information on the way so be it. I am still not bought on the Asmeth scenes. Write them in book 3 and make a flashback like you did in book 1 with Maelen.
It’s hard to tell how good the book is since i read the first draft and thous skipped a good part this time. However i tend to agree with rosver it’s a little bit better, but not good yet.
Unlike rosver i liked the parts with ruiden even though they are of no consequence for the story so far.
I noticed that you wrote succubae and incubae instead of incubi and succubi.
Page 67 – Chapter 85
“Although, if they are being picky about who they let back in…”I don’t think about who is correct. maybe about whom or just whom. (I would choose the latter, but i am not a native speaker.
Well, i think we should wait for Beta 2. A lot of changes were suggested and we have no idea what will be changed and how, let alone how it will influence the reading flow. Especially the conflict with book 1 regarding true death in the abyss could force some major changes.
I tend to agree with Rosver that a lot of the side plot is unnecessary and should be cut out, particularly all those characters who are introduced in their own viewpoint but don’t add anything interesting to the story. (yes, i know they will be an addition in the next book, still they shouldn’t be in this one.)
One point my opinion seems to differ from the general one is the Hilda part. I don’t like the character. I’m not sure why, but i think it’s because she feels like pawn, she’s pretty passive and deferential towards the higher ranking host members.
