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Well, I sort of think that’s exactly what Ramses and Exador are planning to do.
Bess, of course, is just using them to get the book for her buddies on the moon. And then kick Tiernon’s butt.
So, should Exador and Ramses ever figure this out, they might need a new partner.
Maybe you should polish your resume and have it ready?
Nope, too far out.
T-A-G goes into some of the preorder details over in his Amazon discussion forums, but basically there are too many variables out there to do a pre-order at this time because that requires setting a date. Things that are out of his control (aside from the story itself) include the length of the beta program and how long it takes to edit it, and get the cover done. He will probably set the pre-order around the time it goes to the editor.
The first hint of a date will come with the beta demon program. When that will be? Not sure, a lot depends on how much gets done with the holidays coming up and his projected day job schedule for the new year.
You have to understand that T-A-G is a human, and as such is weak and whiny.
He wants food, shelter (apparently a cave is too good for him! Can you imagine?) [i][b]and he sleeps!![/b][/i] He wastes like 7 to 8 hours a day sleeping! (Sometimes even 9 hours!!) Think of all the writing he could be doing.
But NO. Mr Whiny human….It just goes to prove my point that if you want something done, ask a demon to do it!
Are the adventurers mighty tasty or do they think gelatinous cubes are tasty?
Actually, thinking of that you might enjoy the movie [url=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090094/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1]The Stuff,[/url] it’s not a gelatinous cube, it’s more like sentient yogurt. You eat it, then it eats you.
Production values are well, Abyssmal, but that’s what I like.
So good point on the walking. Maybe I’ll bug T-A-G to do some prequel stories, riding wagons doesn’t make sense. He keeps saying he’s got lots of shorter stories in mind, he just never gets to putting them down.
I do think learning more about the lesser people in Astlan could be amusing. I only ever get to meet and eat very powerful wizards and their associates. I’ve been told that most Astlanians can’t spew lightning bolts and fireballs at will. However, I have not met any that can’t, so far.
We demons do have a rather jaundiced view of Astlanians. A lot of demons are scared to death(?) of Astlanians. Mothers scare their baby demons with tales of them. However, I’ve been around long enough (and eaten enough of them) to realize many of them are no more powerful than a sprite or imp, and some even a lot weaker.
Well dining habits do vary by culture.
I’ll be honest, I thought George’s table manners were a bit…off…but I am used to food going the other way so I suppose it’s all just a matter of what you are used to.
Well, if he’s going to keep inviting his buddies over….I am going to have to start charging for my cookies!
Demobutter doesn’t make itself! It’s a lot of work to clarify the butter with the Demon Weed in it and then bake the cookies, plus regular baking supplies aren’t that easy to come by in the Abyss. Actually, that’s really the bigger problem. Demon Weed grows pretty well in the Abyss (if you know how to fertilize and moisturize it) and you get flour etc, but butter? Do you have any idea how much effort it is to transport butter? You have to keep it much cooler than the ambient temperature of the Abyss. Chocolate chips can also be a problem…but not like butter.
I mean, maybe if I can borrow the keys to the World Gate and some of those coins Völund is making, I would only have to charge for my labor; I can pay my assistant cooks with cookies. Actually, considering how much the sneakily eat while baking, they should consider themselves paid in full!
That is what Reggie is thinking about, I can guarantee you. That is one disadvantage us naked male demons have.
Tom does have a voluptuous blond in a revealing pink harem costume that calls him master! And who wants to grant him wishes. (and I have to say in my experience, one of the main reasons a djinni agrees to be bound is so the djinni can explore ‘earthly pleasures’ with their master–see Crispin–Djinnistan is a very odd place dedicated to pure intellect and isn’t particularly material in the traditional sense, the djinn incarnate on the worlds of orc/men to experience physical sensations.)
Of course, that might make Zelda jealous. Zelda isn’t that much older than Tom or Tamarin, all three are very young for their species. Although both Zelda and Tamarin think Tom is a lot older than he really is.
I only know how old he is because he told Boggy and I his age when he first arrived. Otherwise I wouldn’t believe it myself.
Hmm,
That is a good question, not sure how Rupert was planning to do that. Maybe his mom told him his dad’s true name?
Or maybe he hasn’t quite figured that out yet, but was planning on learning how to research it. Do we even know if he knows his own true name?
I would assume he must have been born and grew up somewhere near Lenamare, he’s a little kid and I doubt he could travel that far to get to Lenamare’s school.
Well, I suppose he could have…he is a demon after all, and he knew he was a demon, so he wouldn’t have to worry about free range kobolds and similar brigands mugging him. He didn’t know how to fly though, didn’t have wings, so he’d have been hoofing it….and while he probably thought he was hungry, he would not have died of starvation etc.
Maybe T-A-G should write a prequel at some point?
Of course, there I went talking about free range kobolds, making me hungry! I only eat organic free range kobolds, of course. Got standards on food safety and all. Won’t touch any of those cave grown kobolds, all raised inside those tiny little caves.
Of course, I suppose being a Gelatinous Cube you probably eat anything you can ooze over. Guessing that means lots of salads since grass can’t run away very easily. Met a few trees that could though.
Of course, as an avid sportsman, I believe in a pure carnivore diet. What’s the fun of eating if your dinner does not run, scream and try to fight you?
That’s why I think vegetarians are evil! At least ‘fauna’ can run away, fight and try to escape, but the vast majority of ‘flora’ is just stuck there in the ground and can’t run away. Vegetarians are very unsportsmanlike! Plus, they eat their prey alive! Think about it! you pluck an onion, potato, etc. They keep growing until you cut them up and eat them! So if you eat a vegetable, you are eating a living thing!
OK, now I admit, I have done that more than a few times. But again, when I’m eating someone alive, they can kick, scream, hit me and try to force me to stop. Not a poor helpless green onion, radish or turnip though!
Hmm, although what about Demon Weed? Well, I don’t do the whole plant, just the buds, really. And once the buds dry out they are dead…so I think I’m OK on that. Well, if nothing else once burnt in my pipe they’re dead before I smoke them.
Hmm, to be honest I am not sure they are capable of detecting it.
That’s a good question, perhaps you could go there and test the waters and report back here? Assuming it is not a capital offense.
Hmm,
Good point. While Wylan has offered you a free ride, I am not sure you want to tell him your address. They may decide that friends, family and neighbors of yours are potential co conspirators and haul them into. Do you have a good lawyer licensed to practice in Oorstemoth?
That would probably help. Remember, Exador was falsely accused and his army of lawyers not only kept him from being capitally punished and out of jail and after a year or so, he was finally exonerated.
So the law really does work there, it’s just painfully slow and very expensive.
Hmm. Have you thought of calling an Oober?
If I know Gastrope’ and I do, he is after all, my accursed master. Didn’t see that coming, he must have tricked me and bound me. So now I have to try to break free and eat him one of these days. It’s in the job descriptions after all.
But anyway, I am sure Gastrope’ is going to spend a lot of time trying to keep Jenn from knowing about Tom/Rupert, and the whole D’Orc thing; cause he figures (correctly, I am sure) that she will freak out, possibly permanently if she finds out that Gastrope’ is working for the very dark lord that is freaking out the elves so bad, and that she also worked with him.
Of course, there is also the problem that if the alvar find out, the two will be going to alvaran jail, or maybe the stake for consorting with the FOE. The alvar appear quite calm and rational to most humans, but the really are a rather bloodthirsty lot when riled up.
Of course, you can be sure that Tom is doing everything he can to avoid talking to Rupert about his mom, since he could quickly be exposed as not being Rupert’s dad, which would crush the boy.
Technically the chick was his lady love, not sure they were married, I think just betrothed. But yes, that is going to be quite amusing. I personally am looking at that as my best opportunity to torment the paladin.
I would like to poke T-A-G with a pitchfork to prod him to write faster.
Unfortunately, the only Pitchfork Warehouse store location is in the Courts of Chaos and I am pretty sure I’m demona non grata there at the moment. Wonder if I can them to open a second store in Mount Doom?
BTW…The DoomSpa will be re-opening next week down in the lower levels, near the lava basin under the Great Hall.
It’s been closed since Doom went inactive. But we got D’Orcs working on cleaning it up (lots of work after 4000 years of neglect) It’s much nicer than Hellsprings Eternal. It’s more of a full service D’Orcish Bath.
We have your standard lava spa tubs and pools, water swimming pools with near boiling, half boiling and nearly freezing water; there are several sauna’s both dry and steam. We have some really great scalding steam saunas, as well as a Mercury Steam sauna for the really hardcore bathers. FYI Mercury steam is over 674.1 degrees Fahrenheit, 356.7 C. Personally, it’s a bit warm for me, but some like it, they slowly work up to that one, and then run out and jump in the icy cold water bath! There was talk about having a liquid Nitrogen bath shortly before Doom went quiet. Not sure if we’ll add that later.
The reason they took so long to decide on the liquid Nitrogen bath was that we weren’t sure if it should go in the spa or the torture chamber. If you dip a demon, D’Orc, mortal, etc. in it, they freeze up solid, and then you can shatter them with a hammer. Regenerating from frozen shards is rather painful.
Anyway, there is also a gym and several massage rooms. Darg-nargoloth tells me those were used even after Doom shutdown.
However, we won’t let T-A-G go to the spa until after he finishes book 3.
