Beta – Some Things and opinions

Welcome To Astlan Forums Beta Reading Beta – Some Things and opinions

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 99 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #7130
    scweeb
    Member

    So I thought this might be funny / awkward for Tom. We know Orc’s never had a huge interest or involvement in the Grove. Because its well known that Orc’s hate diplomats/ lawyer types.
    But we also know that Orcus was very intelligent and had his hands in allot of places no one really knew about.
    So what if Orcus went to the grove allot but in his human form or another form? This would seem like something he might do to keep tabs on things and also to get away from the usual stuff.
    Maybe Orcus or even his son had some chance dealings with them that no one really knows about. maybe even a very old yet still likes to flaunt her stuff Enchantress?

    #7115

    I have updated several of Tom’s scenes with conversations with Tamarin who is now at Grob’s side.

    Need to figure out where to place a reference to Tom wanting Vaselle on the Isle of Doom for a backup link in case something happens to the Nysegard Doom, i.e. escape route.

    #7072
    Puck
    Member

    You don’t ‘need’ romance. I find it incredibly appropriate that Toms not even considering that with his situation. Jenn and Gastrope seems fine, they ‘are’ teenagers. Granted I hope Gastrope can do better >_>; *Not biased at all*

    #1470
    Puck
    Member
    #7039
    Puck
    Member

    I cant copy paste, so this is odd set up!

    Pg) 323 Fifth paragraph. Streak should be street i think?

    Pg 342) Citadel of Light, Dungeon: Late Fourth Period, Seventh paragraph as these things go, the dhampire says his life could get any wose, might be couldn’t?

    Pg 345) last paragraph, a ‘he’ is missing from the threatening of multiple tizzy situation

    Pg 346) a ‘get’ is missing from toms inquiry to antefallken about wearing clothes

    Side note- it would be awesome if they demonized talarius

    Pg 355) Ruiden is missing an ‘and’ when he tells talarius he observed, listened, to the conversation.

    Pg 356 ) Citadel of Light, Command Center: Early Fifth Period , First paragraph, Last sentence, the word ‘debated’ is used in lieu of ‘debate’ I think

    Side note – how bad are your that you got a homicidal arch demon that destroyed a city say you got serious issues

    Side side note – Why does Jenn exist : I What did those poor characters do to you to have such a creature inflicted upon them?

    When discussing the links being cut from the doomalogues, the word fail is used instead of fall, or perhaps fail safe?

    Pg 376) Rasmeth said “I’m was a high chaplain”

    When talarius is explaining his situation to Iskerus he says “its rather long and confusing story”

    Overall, I really like the addition. I’m not sure if its the ending, if so its a bit..abrupt? Also, I still can’t fathom why the book is called The Apostles of Doom.

    #7040
    Burien
    Member

    Everyone else has to suffer the presence of teenage girls, why should your favorite characters be exempt?

    Seriously though, Jenn is just lacking a stable, rational adult influence in her life, and she is trying to fill that role. I’d bet if you switched her and Tom he would act very much the same as her in that situation, if maybe a little less hysterical. If every adult around you tells you demons are evil, are you going to believe a demon and a couple of teens you just met, when they tell you they aren’t. Gastrope started coming around after talking to Damien, Jenn didn’t have any such conversation. Maybe when Hilda gets back…

    #7048

    [quote=Puck;5181]Side side note – Why does Jenn exist : I What did those poor characters do to you to have such a creature inflicted upon them?[/quote]

    You mean have Jenn inflicted upon them? Or poor Jenn being inflicted by these illogical beings like Exador, Gastrope’ , Tom and such.

    She should be getting better as the story goes along and she learns more; even as Talarius did. Note they both started out being slightly opinionated.

    And…even though Jenn does not like Jehenna, Jehenna basically treats Jenn as her protege. On some level Jehenna is going to be rubbing off on her, Jehenna has been Jenn’s main role model since she started schooling.

    #7052

    [quote=Mikey;5183]Also, the poor forgotten hero Rex died horribly only a few in-story weeks ago, didn’t he? It felt like Jenn was lacking some closure on the whole “why do good people die” thingy that’s the bread and butter of the priesthood.

    I wonder how long the El Ohim saint school takes…[/quote]

    Good point. And while I keep trying to remind people with these day counts, I myself forget this, and it’s important to keep that in mind and perhaps circle back to that.

    The problem for me is that Rex died about 23-24 years ago. If people think GRRM is slow…Book 1 was probably started before Game of Thrones…I did the first chapter in like 86 or 87, most of book between 90 and 95 and then finished it in the months before it’s release…

    As I’ve said, I could not figure how to force Tom outside the city to battle Talarius. And it finally just hit me after umpteen rereads to a dead end. “Just let Lenamare know about the damn demons in the palace,! he will know how to get rid of them”

    Literally the key was “Tell Lenamare about the demons.” “What would Lenamare do?” And at that point I had the answer in like 5 minutes.

    #7053

    [quote=scweeb;5194]But how could it never be mentioned that he has a Son and that oh Rupert who looks like him is because he could be his Grandpa[/quote]

    Thanks, yep big battle coming.

    Well, the “D’Orcs all knew that Orcus had a son. The prophecy said that Orcus would return with his son. Who, in the prophecy, looks just like him, as he did as Dis Pater’

    So that’s why they never ask Tom “Hey reborn Orcus, how’d you manage to get an identical son?” Because they already knew about Orcus’s son, and one assumes that if one announces that a child is his son, that person knows how the son came to be.

    So, since Tom was not publicly questioning Rupert being his son, no one else would have either. It’s what they were all expecting.

    Now, as to the senior people, the only ones that would really understand what he’s going through are Volund and Phaestus, and because they do know, they are going to let Tom discover things in his own time. You can’t just force this stuff on someone and expect them to just run with it. It takes a long time for people to come to grip with something as huge as this.

    Note that none of the D’Orcs have been through the Phoenix Cycle yet. They are all less than 100,000 years old.

    #7047

    [quote=Puck;5181]Pg 356 ) Citadel of Light, Command Center:Early Fifth Period , First paragraph, Last sentence, the word ‘debated’ is used in lieu of ‘debate’ I think[/quote]

    The verbs in the sentence are was and were, so I think debated is correct.

    He was standing next to Rasmeth on one side and Grob Darkness Slayer to the other, they were watching as the ten most senior avatars of the Five Siblings on Nysegard calmly debated the battlefield they were all at the center of.

    Others?

    #7046

    OK,

    Found the problem to be in checking the “Bitmap fonts if not can’t embed fonts” which apparently turned everything into a picture.

    Office PDF software is apparently very crappy about embedding fonts. I know that some people have complained about the alpha pdf fonts being crappy. This is because they are not all being embedded properly.

    Going to work on that for subsequent releases.

    For now, I have replaced the current pdf with a version that does not bitmap fonts, so it is selectable/cut and pastable.

    #7045
    scweeb
    Member

    So a quick write up because I am at work and should be doing Adult things.

    The added content is GREAT! It ends kind of abruptly but I am guessing that is because the next thing that happens is going to be HUGE and that is where you are wanting the next book to start. (next part being the 5 siblings show up).

    Quick things that kind bother me. Is with the mirror I like how you have it mentioned that this is going to just raise more questions than give answers. But how could it never be mentioned that he has a Son and that oh Rupert who looks like him is because he could be his Grandpa. . . . But none of those guys mention this to Tom who they all know is having a hard time with all of this with everything else piled on top. . .
    But beyond that I loved the exchange between everyone at the Citadel of light I think it went as much as I wanted and expected you to take it. Really looking forward to the next book and the ending of the battle and what becomes of everyone with the very big decisions they are going to have to make.

    #7044

    [quote=Puck;5181]Pg) 323 Fifth paragraph. Streak should be street i think?

    Pg 342) Citadel of Light, Dungeon: Late Fourth Period, Seventh paragraph as these things go, the dhampire says his life could get any wose, might be couldn’t?

    Pg 345) last paragraph,a ‘he’ is missing from the threatening of multiple tizzy situation

    Pg 346) a ‘get’ is missing from toms inquiry to antefallken about wearing clothes[/quote]

    Fixed these, reexporting PDF before going on to next

    #7043

    [quote=The Author Guy;5190][quote=Puck;5181]I cant copy paste, so this is odd set up![/quote]

    The PDF? That’s weird, I don’t think I did anything different with this one than the last one, will check the settings because that’s a pain in the butt.

    [/quote]

    This is very weird, I open the PDF in my PDF editor and you are right, I can’t copy and paste, but I look at the properties and it says that is allowed.

    I need people to be able to copy and place because that’s the easiest way to find things, if you paste enough exact text, I then search the entire document for it.

    I am going to try re-PDF-ing it.

    #7042

    [quote=Puck;5181]I cant copy paste, so this is odd set up![/quote]

    The PDF? That’s weird, I don’t think I did anything different with this one than the last one, will check the settings because that’s a pain in the butt.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 99 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.