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Cool, I got the bit about Antimus being like antimatter to animus, but didnt think it would be a corrupting dark influence on Talarius or the church in general. I thought the stated ‘moral slippage’ of the church was due to ongoing political influence of zealots squeing the church over time. Maybe a few hints should be thrown in about its properties other than destroying animus? Talarius feeling ‘something’ is different since the battle, or Sentir Fallon worrying the changes in the church are due to him leaving it on astlan, and stating something to the fact when talking to his ‘conspirators’?
I agree that the first half of the book had me wondering “what about Tom?”, but I dont think the other PoV chapters should be removed. Maybe more chapters about Tom could be put in covering Tizzy’s tour of the abyss, or Tom helping Reggie get a handle on being a demon, stuff that could assist character development but not affect the established timeline.
@Arad an-Bás
Funnily enough, the ‘impracticality’ of Tom’s demon form with a human woman is actually something Im kind of hoping happens as part of Tom working out how different his life is now.
He has been thrown around from situation to situation, and going from extremes of pretending to be ‘Big Evil Demon’, to pretending to still be human. He hasnt had much time to think about women or how his life will be now, but being a teenager his mind will go back there in time.
Seeing as shapeshifting requires concentration, and nothing gets rid of concentration faster, I imagine an awkward fumbling moment followed by improvising.
That or *pop goes the shapeshift*… and now they are stuck 😛
I think that would help, although that is just me, I dont mind conversation character development.
Things I can think of other than dialog to add for Tom could be: More stops on Tizzy’s tour. Some conflict with Antefalken, with Lilith demanding he bring Tom to the courts (they go but something happens to change their minds and avoid her?). Other demons finding Toms first cave, before they go on the tour.
Escalating problems faster might be an issue with the timeline, as that could shorten the Tom sections when the recommendations seem to be to include more of him. Then there is the issue of too much happening at once, since this book takes place in roughly a week. Maybe insert new issues/conflicts in Toms area.
Crap, this has moved faster than I thought. I have been busy lately and hadnt had a chance to finish reading or post anything, now I come in with my Beta 2 notes to find a 4.
Sorry about that, I should be able to post comments while they are still relevant now that things have slowed down 😛
Major Plotlines
1) Hilda & the Host
I liked how this plotline developed, but was left with only really one question. Why do the higher ups in the celestrial ranks still believe the Demons = Evil line? The Bess was shown to have known how demons are ‘created’, so why wouldnt the other gods and their servants? (leaving the demons = evil as just a line to throw at followers to keep them in line)
2) Gastrope’, Jenn, The Grove, The Nimbus
I disagree with the people that disliked this section, and have put in some comments regarding it. I think the two main things I would change is have something more happening in the first portion than ‘Jenn and Gastrope are moving’, and that the two groups (Tom and Jen) are a bit too unconcerned with their current (and as they see future prolonged) seperation.
3) Tom, the Abyss, Mount Doom
I think this went along fine, except for comments I made about the first half of the book being a little Tom empty.
Secondary Plotlines
1) Nyjyr Ennead (Gods on Uropia)
Was interesting, and enjoyed the inclusion of deities that werent pious jerks 😛 Will they figure out that their breeding stud is linked to Tom soon? Reggie doesnt seem like he can keep his mouth shut about anything.
2) Vaselle & Tom
This has a lot of potential, but one thing I was thinking is that after the link was established shouldnt Vaselle be noticing some changes, as isnt there more to being a warlock than answering to a demon.
3 a) Exador, Bess, Ramses & The Book
Progressed pretty much as I expected, and I cant think of anything they should have been trying to do or not do given the time passed in the book.
3 b) Randolf & Crispin (+Lenamare) vs Exador
Should there be more of a link between Crispin’s reporting and the djin knowing about Tom? Otherwise a nice link between the current goings on and the introduction of the djin. That and at least someone was suspicious of Exador.
4) The Rogues & Captain Asmeth
This is kind of disconnected from the rest of the story, and while they were the ones Lenamare hired to get the book, I dont see how they fit in currently on in the future. They need something more to connect them to events, or maybe be cut off into their own novella as a prequil to when they do get involved in the greater plots.
5) “The Adventures of Rupert & Fer Rog”
I disagree with people that didnt think this added anything. Rupert is a major character and is able to be himself for the first time in his life, and these very much have a ‘geting used to his own skin’ feel.
6) Oorstemoth & The Rod->Inferno
A logical progression, at least as much as either group uses logic 😛 All I can say is that I hope any politicians get taken out in the first battle.
6.1) Gadius and Gaius ??
I find that their individual sections had much the same disconnected feel as the Rogues. Other than their part in the joint Oorstemoth/Rod pending invasion, I dont see that they add much.
7) Sentir Fallon, Lilith and Aodh
Good for seeing some of the behind the scenes moves and history that has led to everything. Lilith’s attack seems a bit unprovoked though, given that she doesnt actually believe the reincarnation line. Should there be something more to provoke her, or DOES she actually believe the reincarnation bit?
8) The Elvish freak out will evolve from the Grove plotline.
Loving this for a personal reason. I have never liked the trend in fantasy for elves to always be in the right and perfect, so seeing them as stuck up racists that will probably get a beating in the future is a big plus.
Wasnt it stated in Book 2 that Loki died during Ragnarock and destroying the dimension connecting bridge to asguard?
“Randolf coughed slightly. Bartholomew raised his eyebrows in sudden understanding of the oversight. Clearly, the [u]balling [/u]had rattled his wits.”
When I first read this part, I didnt know right away what was being referred to, and thought it might have been an error. Then I realized it was the crystal ball recording, but this is the first point in the book it is referred to as ‘balling’.
Later in the book (86.1) it is referred to as a crystal balling. I think the first mention of the short hand (in 82.2) should be referred to as ‘crystal balling’, then there is less of a mental leap to just ‘balling’.
