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Hi,
Thinking on bringing in more action early.
One thing that happens offscreen is how ‘N’, Marcus and Tibs escape Oorstemoth and got to Asmeth’s ship.
This was not on my radar at all, but it is action, and bloody. Theoretically, it could be very bloody. ‘N’ is basically an Elven Cuisinart with blades.
Problem is, no one is yet invested in these characters so it would be significant introduction to them, on par with Tal Gor.
And does that take us too far off the Tom chart, if part of the initial problem is too little Tom?
T-A-G
Cool point. I should be able to go back to the ‘crystal balling’ and add , or simply ‘balling’ as many had started calling it.
Thx!
Hi,
Sorry, the confirmation isn’t that great.
Basically, you just wait for the forums to sync with the main site.
I’ll double check right now and make sure you are both good.
T-A-G
Grant you were good when I got here.
TDK yours did not take for some reason. However, I dropped you in. So you are good now.
Reread, agree now, pretty sure I agreed when I wrote it but put it down for “work on it” and it slipped through the cracks
Great catch!
Trevyn is a wrong spelling.
Elves=Alvar. One is closer to the pronunciation in the local alvaran tongues.
Tom calls them elves, ‘N’ considers himself an elf. Dwarves tend to call them elves It’s mainly an inter-planar thing as to which the call.
Same with dwarves and the modgro……. the name of the people is the modgr…..but very few outsiders have the patience to say it so they use dwarves, which is someone pejorative, mainly because the elves like to say ‘dwarf’ with contempt.
Yes you a right he doesn’t call them that so much as wonder if they exist etc.
Basically though, in my mind, elves and alvar are used interchangeably by people, just different language interpretation.
Alvar is the more common term in Astlan and among the people we have met (not sure who would say it differently but)
Dwarves/Dwarf is used (in world build up) much more commonly than elves vs alvar
That is basically the point the council comes to later in the book…so they are rather stuck on what to do.
Hi,
Lots of great stuff coming in guys from all over the gambit. Very excited! Thanks!
So, I need a way to make sure I am getting things addressed.
For things that can be “fixed” in place, e.g. word editing, rephrasing, fixing perspective etc. I will mark the post with a “thanks” to the post (assuming it’s an action item) when it has been fixed/addressed in the book. (or ignored…but I would tell you why in post)
If you submit an issue and I seem to forget to thank it and it needs addressed. Re Ping, or send me a forum message.
T-A-G
A thought to think….on the expansion.
A lot of this trip is to setup the elves, dwarves and the Grove. The elves are going to be a force in the coming war, also understanding the dwarf relations. The Grove is something of a U.N. of those races.
Introduction to the Nimbus it’s a battleship. Different side than the Inferno, which is also a battleship.
This forum is for after reading Book 2 and discussing what you like and don’t like and most importantly [b]”How to fix the parts you don’t like”[/b]
Hi,
One thing I’ve mentioned is the Dead Tree size limit as being the limit on the length of the book.
For the trade paperback size, a readable font (2nd Edition) and a $19.99 list price I am limited to about 245,000 words including appendices.
Thus the length limit. HH is about 230,000 leaving space to add stuff as needed.
That being said, the real physical limit is 828 pages for Create Space. The next thing is to set a max list US price and balance that with at least not losing money on extended distribution.
If I set the list price of $24.99 for book 2. I can get 750 pages at the same font as the 2nd edition. That translates to extending the book by about 90,000 words. Or, over a third more.
Now, that $24.99 is higher than I like for a trade paperback, but I don’t think I’ve sold more than 30 copies. Vast majority of sales are Kindle, for which there is no real size limit.
So, one thing I’ve complained about is cutting book ii in parts for book iii.
I could cram more of currently planned book iii in book ii, if that helps.
However, not sure it helps.
Part of the big problem with stuff that is in book ii, that doesn’t seem important is setup for book iii or later in book iv.
E.g. the Asmeth plotline. However, that could be removed and put somewhere else, say in flashback or just telling later, when these characters come more into play.
Anyway, the point is, there are things I can do with size limits, it’s not inflexible if it helps the overall story.
[quote=Lhans;2148]Trisfelt had a passion for “True Crime” stories. [color=red]His passion, however, was being interrupted, something wasn’t quite right, there was a disturbance in one of his wards.[/color] (Bugging me. Maybe “His passion, however, was being interrupted by something not quite right – a disturbance in one of his wards.” ? ) [/quote]
Hmm, yes, I see what you mean. Hmm. Will play with it.
[quote=Lhans;2148]
[color=red]As he’d noted, she was full bodied, rather voluptuous Trisfelt thought, [color=black](break into two sentences? running a bit long)[/color] she had brilliant golden hair that he swore almost glowed on its own and seemed to match her beaming eyes and wide smile.[/color] [/quote]changed to:
[color=blue]As he’d noted, she was full bodied, rather voluptuous actually Trisfelt thought. She had brilliant golden hair that he swore almost glowed on its own and seemed to match her beaming eyes and wide smile.[/color][quote=Lhans;2148]
“I’m Hilda!” The woman introduced herself extending a hand to Trisfelt.
[color=red]“Uhm, Trisfelt.” Trisfelt said after a moment.[/color] (change period to a comma) [color=red]shaking her hand after a momentary bit of confusion.[/color] “What brings you out into the woods at night?”“Uh, yes…it’s been there for a bit now.” Trisfelt said, puzzled but still a bit flustered by her bright and [color=red]fierdy[/color] (? fiery? flirty?) smile.
[/quote]
fierdy=sunny. The sun is called fierd, Fierd is the name so when the say Fierd, but they also use it like fierdlight etc.
In the first book, most discussion of the sun was done by Tom who called it the sun. Here it’s people that have never used the word sun. Minor weirdness, I know.
Thanks!
