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[quote=Korwin;4559]Which page / chapter starts new stuff?[/quote]
Well we go back in time there are new insertions in a couple places and some rearraging.
I would probably reread 139 and then all of 140 and 141.
There about 11,000 new words between Alpha 1 and Alpha 2. Which is about 28 mass market paperback pages.
Do people think a Diff Document might be useful?
I track changes and can also do a document compare of one version vs the next
[quote=Mikey;4561]Jerry. You’re RUINING the genre for me. Now that I know what “good writing” really means, I can’t but expect it from every book I purchase from Amazon.[/quote]
Thank you!
I love flattery! Not as much as Tizzy, but still a lot. o:)
Really need to see about getting more smileys…I wonder why there is that whole blank space for example.
Mikey posted a diff script for the epub in another topic.
I take that as two votes. Let me see what I can come up with that is usable.
Very interesting!
Great minds think a like, before I read this I just posted a reply and asked people if a diff document would be useful, something showing changes, etc.
=d>
I do hear that Kangaroos can actually disrupt traffic. I had heard someone mention that they are sort of like deer here in terms of being road kill.
So having sections of highways near large Roo populations with warning signs saying “Watch out for Roos” might make some sense. We have “Deer Crossing” signs.
I think I’d make ooohing and cuddling noises if I saw Koala’s crossing…they look so adorable.
I have to say as a northsider, having bipedal (non-human) animals standing by the road staring at you would be extremely freaky. I’ve also seen pictures/videos of them wandering through neighborhoods or boxing each other in someone’s back yard….
This would be so very strange for those of us who have no bipedal animials (other than humans and an occasional bear that will go on hind legs–but you don’t see bears in neighborhoods that often unless you are in Alasak).
How intelligent are Roos? Are they similar to goats, dogs?
[quote=Mikey;4527]Alpha 1
flow threw him
Sentir Falcon
It’s most complicated spells -> Its
naval gazing
splender[/quote]
Thanks!
:-”
We are going to learn a bit more about that. Turns out he’s got mouths in all sorts of places, or rather he can have (where ever he needs them). Plus tentacles (as needed). He’s extremely metamorphic, meaning more than just shape changing, his true form morphs and mutates at will.
Let’s just say she got tired of being a chaste high priestess (no celibacy but Talarius is into courtly love) and discovered Hentai Heaven.
Yes there is a scoop there, a motivational factor if you will.
I love the UPC!
I really love it when the gloves start coming off, and the one announcer asked how long it would go on….
Good point.
In HH his helmet’s visor provides him with capabilities similar to Demon Sight.
The question is, does the visor have Truth Sight? In ITA, he would not have had his helmet on, but one would think if it had truth sight, he’d have put it on.
I sort of think it does not do “truth”
Big reason is, what if he were to use “Truth Sight” on everyone in Mount Doom talking to him? He would almost have to decide it was broken, or seriously question his entire life (which he is doing anyway but..)
Now, this raises another question. What happens to people who “Truth Sight” Tizzy? My guess is that everything he says, even if obviously a like registers as true.
Actually, I wonder what standard clerical wisdom is in regards to Truth Sighting a demon. I am going to guess that the consensus is that it doesn’t work with demons, because when the demons told the truth, the clerics would not believe it, so therefore would assume Truth Sight did not work on demons.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]Here’s a list of spelling / grammar or general issues / queries…
There are several occurrences of the word “drug” to indicates someone dragged away – not sure if this an issue to do with Aussie vs American language, but it always jars when I when I see the word in this context
[/quote]Very interesting. Looked this up on dictionary.com and the main use is as in drugged, or drugs. But it also says:
drug2
{druhg}
Spell Syllables
verb, Chiefly Midland and Southern U.S. Nonstandard.
1.
a simple past tense and past participle of drag.
[/quote]I’ve live most of my life in the midwest US (Iowa, IL) with long stints in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona where most everyone speaks midwestern English (since thats where most people move from)
So we always use drug as the past tense. Or at least I do.
However, Tom is from New Jersey. He would use the “Joisey” version.
Anyone from NY/NJ reading and know what is preferred? “he had been drug into a conference with his commanders” or “he had been dragged into a conference with his commanders”
Of course, to me, getting dragged in Australia brings to mind a touring bus with a bunch of men with fabulous wardrobes wandering the Outback. Preferably sitting on top of the bus with a very long silver trane…
[YOUTUBE]https://youtu.be/Ksvm7fovhJQ[/YOUTUBE]
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Preface: Dates, Time and Previously[/b]
Recent milestones – “[color=blue]…the Archdeom Bess arrived…[/color]” – by the end of book 2 it was established that Bess was a goddess.
[/quote]
However, this is discussing the fact that an archdemon named Bess showed up in the Courts. No one in the Courts knew or knows that she’s a goddess. This prologue is “semi-objective” whatever that means.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 116 – Mount Doom[/b]
[color=blue]That was the NEVER spoken name of Lilith. Well, not name, insult name.[/color] – these are awkward sentences
[/quote]Changed to
[quote]
Servants of the Jilted Bride!” The demon shouted. Half the army, or half of those still capable, hissed at that statement, not so much from anger as from fear. The Jilted Bride was the NEVER spoken name of Lilith. Well, not actually a name, more of a tile, in fact, an epithet. There was no better way to guarantee one’s own horrible, terrible, unpleasant death than to use that title.
[/quote][quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[color=blue]Lesteroth nodded, Talgorf chuckled neverviously.[/color] – who is Talgorf, don’t remember him being mentioned before or after this..
[/quote]He’s mentioned quite a bit in this book, at least in regards to the Doomspa; he showed up in Book 2 during the march. He is one of Lesteroth’s two friends, the other being Bellyachus.
They currently work in the Doomspa; see the post D’Orcing
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 117[/b]Murgatroy: Several hours earlier, DOA + 1, Shortly after lunch.
[color=blue]I got in contact with after the battle with Talarius and he….[/color] – seems to be a missing name Tom here
I got in contact with after
[color=blue]”The keep talking about going across some…..”[/color] – should be “They keep talking
[/quote]
Fixed in Alpha 1
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Murgatroy
[color=blue]”You promised to be right out to the site.”[/color] – which site is Jen talking about
[/quote]the landing/research site/landing site/D’Orc portal where they had all their equipment. added “reserch” in front of site.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 120[/b]
Mount Doom: DOA + 2, Early Fourth Period[color=blue]”Had she never been to the Planes of Orc?”[/color] – by the end of book 2 Tom is calling the lands Midgard instead of either the Planes of Orcs or the Planes of Men.
[/quote]He goes back and forth, Midgard is pretty archaic, used mainly by the old D’Orcs.
Changed to Midgard.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 122[/b]
Mount Doom
[color=blue]Tom shook his watching Talarius twist and contort in his armor….[/color] – should this be “Tom shook his head, watching Talairus…
[/quote]
Yep. Fixed in Alpha 1
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 123[/b]
Murgatroy
[color=blue]”…Lord Edwyrd does employee Rune Magic…”[/color] – should be employ
[/quote]
From up above/earlier fixed.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889][b]Chapter 124[/b]
The Inferno: DOA + 4, Late Second Period
[color=blue]”Well, are we not fortunate not to have to deal with that.”[/color] – awkward sentence
[/quote]
Can’t find it, must have fixed it.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Mount Doom
[color=blue]Which was pretty good Tom in Tom’s opinion[/color] – should be “Which was pretty good in Tom’s opinion
[/quote]
previously fixed.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 125[/b]
The Abyss
[color=blue]…a giant Typhoon class submarine from one the Earths.[/color] – should be “from one of the Earths”
[/quote]
yep. Fixed it now.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 126[/b]
Tierhallon: DOA +5, Late Fourth Period
[color=blue]”…and Abomination?”[/color] – should be “…an Abomination?”
[/quote]
Good catch. Fixed.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 129[/b]
DoomSpa
[color=blue]…a shopping expedition to the Planes of Meat[/color] – did you mean to say “Meat” or “Men” – I could see some demons referring to the humans as “Meat”
[/quote]
Meat. Yes indeedy! =d>
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Fort Murgatroid: Mid Third Period
[color=blue]”As you are, I am sure aware, this is a very…”[/color] – awkward sentence
[/quote]
Yes, I see it. Thoughts?
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 131[/b]
Rod camp outside of Freehold: Mid First Period
[color=blue]”You are inside our inside our Holy Silence…”[/color] – should be “You are inside our Holy Silence.”
[/quote]
Thanks
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 132[/b]Fort Murgatroid: Mid-Sixth Period
[color=blue]He had expected them to focus on his efforts to focus on[/color] – repetitive use of “focus on” in these sentence
[/quote]
Lost some focus!
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
The Abyss, The Outpost: Late 6th Period
[color=blue]bulky metal container with a triggered straw on its top… [/color]- I not sure what a triggered straw is????
[/quote]
Try this:
[quote]
Tom shook his head looking at the slightly bulky metal container with a sealed straw on with a trigger to open once in ones mouth, within his hand, while running his tongue around his tingling mouth. “That is a truly unique taste!” He marveled looking up at his hosts.
[/quote]
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 133[/b]
Citadel of Light: Late Sixth Period
[color=blue]Grob shook his again and glanced….[/color] – shook his what?
[/quote]
It was head, fixed it earlier.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 134[/b]
Mount Doom: Late Second Period
[color=blue]Here everything his hydroponics[/color] – should be “is hydroponics”
[/quote]
fixed in earlier post
[quote=GameGraphix;3889][b]Chapter 135[/b]
The Inferno: Mid Fourth Period
[color=blue]Gaius commented someone sarcastically[/color] – should be “somewhat sarcastically”
[/quote]
yep, fixed.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889][b]Chapter 136[/b]
Astlan, Orcan Plains, 20 Leagues Southwest of Jötunnhenj: Early Fifth Period
[color=blue]But simply to him, unless he wanted to be a martyr[/color]… – awkward sentence
[/quote]
[quote]
But not simply towards him, unless he wanted to be a martyr, but beyond him, some sort of giant fire and lightning magnet that the essence of Fire could return to.
[/quote]
[quote=GameGraphix;3889][color=blue]…but if Lord Tommus could that portal to suck… [/color]- missing some words
[/quote]
[quote]
He was not sure it made much sense, but if Lord Tommus could use a Fire portal to suck heat away, surely his lord could use the Fire portal to suck down a fireball or lightning bolt.
[/quote]
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Nysegard, Krallnomton Henge: Moments Later
[color=blue]”He is somewhere else, with one the shamans[/color] – should be “with one of the shamans”
[/quote]
Fixed
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
from chapter 136 you refer to the A.I where previous when the idea of the beta interface was introduced in the story it was call AII (Artificial Intelligence Interface)
[/quote]
I believe it should all be A.I.I. now.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 137[/b]
DoomSpa: Minutes Later
[color=blue]I know one guy, who chose to flee the hinterlands after the cold spell, he was captured in one of our raids and she tortured him for a solid two decades…[/color] – what cold spell is this referring to?? If is the one at the end of book 2 then the demon could not have been tortured for 20 years….
[/quote]
The near absolute zero period. In this case spell means a short duration rather than ritualized magic. How about
[quote]
I know one guy, who chose to flee to the hinterlands after Lord Tommus’ deep freeze maneuver,
[/quote][quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Library of Doom: DOA + 13, Early First Period
[color=blue]It was like had really grokked…[/color] – should be “It was like he had really grokked”, although I have absolutely no idea what “grokked” means….can only guess from the context
[/quote][quote]
It was like had finally grokked the whole demon business for the first time.
[/quote]What? grok” it’s “standard english”, it’s even in the dictionary http://www.dictionary.com/browse/grok?s=t 🙂
Robert Heinlein: Stranger in a Strange Land, re: Michael Valentine Smith
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 138[/b]
Isle of Doom, Krallnomton: Early Third Period
[color=blue]His first thoughts were if concern[/color] – should be “thoughts were of concern”
The Inferno
[color=blue]”He said he pursued and archdemon..[/color] – should be “He said he pursued an archdemon
[/quote]
Fixed both, thanks.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889][b]Chapter 140[/b]
Citadel of Light: DOA + 15, Shortly after Dawn
[color=blue]”It is a myth, some of the most powerful vampires can take on winged bat…”[/color] – this sentence seems to contradict itself, on one hand say that vampires changing into bats is a myth and then saying that power vampires can do it[/quote]
Here is what is there at the moment, not sure if I changed it after you wrote this, but before I got to it.
[quote]
Leighton chuckled. “It is a myth, some of the most powerful vampires can take on winged bat-like forms, but they are not actual bats. No, vampire bats are very large, extremely vicious and deadly bats under the control of vampires. They fly in large swarms and swoop down upon victims from the sky en masse.”
[/quote]The powerful vampires can take a bat like form, but they are not actual bats. It’s a bat like form, e.g. the man-bat from Batman comics. [albumimg]31[/albumimg]
[quote=fallen_one_84;3949]chapter 125
keepers cityAround the bush, hidden from his previous view, but
otherwise in plain site was the body of a young girl! Verigas
recoiled in horror.replace site with sight.
i could be wrong though.
second opinion?[/quote]
You are correct, fixed!
[quote=Skaar;3952]I Should prey to Hilda should be pray page 216
Tom shook his head in disbelief scriously Talarius how insancly big is your ego. Scriously Should be seriously and insancly should be insanely. Pg 57
She is clearly a skilled Enchantress and I have no idea what races she is. Races should be race. pg 22
The do not take advice from the sheep. It should be They do not take advice from sheep. Pg 22[/quote]
Fixed! Thanks
[quote=Iume;3918]
Additional errors:
Tardis -> TARDISASAP.: -> Remove : at the end. (Chapter 133)
—
Edit: This is either a conversion problem for the epub format or it exists in the main file but sometimes the text is full justified instead of left justified.[/quote]
That’s really embarrasing on the TARDIS Time And Relative Dimension In Space Doh! ](*,)
Can’t find the : at the end of chapter 133
OK, I think it may be a translation problem; however, when I get ready to publish, justification etc will be redone/reset. That’s the thing, it can take a good two weeks to get things loaded correctly into Amazon, particularly with Create Space for the paperback, that’s the really tricky one with long delays for them to review.
[quote=Iume;3987]”Tommus, may I introduce my Lord Orcus in his principle form.”
If using principle to mean main then it should principal. If using it to mean most basic, fundamental form then principle. However, given the total dialogue in this scene I believe it is the first.
[/quote]Your point is correct, except it is his “true” form which would be principle form. This is one of those interesting places where these two vexing words are equally correct!
I think I’m going to just say “true form” since that’s the demonic terminology. (Even if it isn’t, everyone assumed it was, thus we would say his default form)
“…Lord Orcus in what is believed to be his true form.””
[quote=Iume;3987]
—Use all sensors to detect D’Orcs coming for us, and raise the shields as soon as you spot anything. In the meantime, we…”
Missing ” at the beginning of the dialogue.
[/quote]Yes, I keep finding that happening in several spots.
[quote=Iume;3987]
discuss vs. discus
[/quote]
Not finding this…did I say discuss for a round throwing thing
[quote=Iume;3987]
corn rows vs. cornrows
[/quote]
fixed
[quote=Iume;3987]virtual mortal life –> virtuous mortal life. Actually the Case of the Toxic Spelldump dealth with virtual & virtuous mortal life, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.
[/quote]No you have to live online! o:) Fixed!
[quote=Iume;3987]
major domo vs majordomo
[/quote]
replaced with major-domo
[quote=Iume;3987]regathered is forces –> regathered his forces
An orc’s family consists of his or hir immediate family -> His or her unless deliberately using the term hir like with djinn.[/quote]
[/quote]Supposed to be her; orcs don’t recognize other gender variants.
