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It was certainly the cause of his cheating and the way he reacted to Melissance.
But it’s actually more than just antimus, because technically that might have been interesting in and of itself if it was just antimus (since she was infected by it as well)
The dagger, created by the Dark Apostle actually had quite a lot of nastiness embued within it but masked by Sentir Fallon’s dedication of it to Tiernon; which is why no one realized how seriously “evil” it was. It definitely corrupted Sentir Fallon.
And of course by evil, I mean “negative characteristics generally associated with what people call evil” the Dark Apostle wanted to corrupt people, because that’s what his god wanted (and still wants).
Actually, talking about this, I think I should go back and mention the masking affect in the discussion between Tiernon and Torean.
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
?) = Something off but not sure how to fix it.
M) = Small modification might be in order
S) = Spelling error
*)Suggested modification?)bulky metal container with a sealed straw on with a trigger to open once in ones mouth, within his hand
*)Seems off
[/quote]
Yes, do you know what I am saying? describing? It’s a vaccuum mug with a straw that has a flap that release with a trigger button on the handle.
Looking for suggestions–although may by explanation here is what I should use?
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)How would have gotten Tizzy’s true name
*)How would he have gotten Tizzy’s true name
[/quote]Fixed
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)It was like had finally grokked the whole demon business
*)It was like he had finally grokked the whole demon business
[/quote]
Thx[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)“Elrose means forces, being from outside the natural world
*)“Elrose means forces, beings, from outside the natural worldb(meaning: supernatural Forces and Beings)
[/quote]sort of went with this:
Elrose means forces, as in beings and influences from outside the natural world, the Planes of Men.
Does that work OK?
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)Elrose said, still seeming a bit shook
*)Elrose said, still seeming a bit shaken
[/quote][quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)You’ve were talking to the D’Orcs since Murgatroy?
*)You’ve been talking to the D’Orcs since Murgatroy?
[/quote]Fixed and got rid of contraction as well.
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)She waved her hands over her head again in bewilderment
*)She threw her hands up again in bewilderment
[/quote]
Done[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)Gastropé gulped, realizing he was in a very precarious state.
*)Gastropé gulped, realizing he was in a very precarious position/situation/spot.
[/quote]Gastropé gulped, realizing he was walking a dangerous line between truth and lies.
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)Jenn asked Gastropé in what he felt a slightly threatening manner
*)Jenn asked Gastropé in what he felt was a slightly threatening manner
[/quote]Fixed
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)Didar An Sep also noted
*)Didar An Sep also nodded
[/quote]Fixed
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
?)“Imagine my surprise to find that my dear old friend Thrinarv Gottslieb, high priest of Hephaestus?”
*)surprised by what exactly?
[/quote][quote=Giwdul;4590]
))Our order is faithful to and respects all the Gods of Light
*)My order is faithful to and respects all the Gods of Light
[/quote]Fixed.
“Imagine my surprise to find that my dear old friend Thrinarv Gottslieb, high priest of Hephaestus was in town?”
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
S)the were not common
*)they were not common
[/quote]Fixed
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
S)Thrinarv said talking another drink
*)Thrinarv said taking another drink
[/quote]
Fixed[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)Should have ordered sooner, getting pretty dry in here.
*)Should have ordered sooner, getting pretty dry over here.
[/quote]
“Really good magineering, I’d suspect.” Thrinarv said taking another drink of his ale. “Should have ordered sooner, getting pretty dry in here.” He eyeballed the bottom of his mug skeptically.He means his mug is getting dry inside. The here is the bottom of the mug he is eyeballing.
Suggestions to rephrase more clearly?
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)trying to explain her relationship towards Lenamare’s demon was something she could not explain to herself, let alone a group of strange orcs and D’Orcs.
*)her relationship towards Lanamare’s demon was something she could not explain to herself, let alone a group of strange orcs and D’Orcs.
[/quote]Fixed
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
?)While Edwyrd was surprisingly skilled, he did have Rupert’s trust, but like Gastropé he was young and inexperienced.
*)Seems off
[/quote]Yes, I can feel it. She is suprised at how skilled he is given his age.
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
S)after the finished their supper.
*)after they finished their supper.
[/quote]Fixed
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
M)that the alvar remove all of their forces from their territory is more than reasonable
*)that the alvar remove all of their forces from orc territory is more than reasonable
[/quote]Fixed
[quote=Giwdul;4590]
?)we learned from local alvar and very specifically the aetós.
*)Sounds like the aetós are an alvaran sub-species.
[/quote]
“Prince Ariel and the nobility did not tell us about the other groups, that is something we learned the aetós, and a few local alvar.” Trevin said.Thanks! Suggestions on the one’s I don’t know what to do are more than welcome!
Great idea!
I started thinking along these lines while describing it. I was thinking in Astlanian terms, but since it’s Tom he can use modern terms. Thermos is better yet!
Thanks
Whole sentence is awkward; here is another try.
Tom shook his head looking at the bulky high tech sealed thermos mug with a flip open straw triggered by a button on the handle, in his right hand. He ran his tongue around his tingling mouth. “That is a truly unique taste!” He marveled looking up at his hosts.
I like that. I think I will just say on a space station because I can guarantee you someone will see ISS and rather than recognize it as the International Space Station, they will think I left out an I in the name of certain group running around Iraq…
Who by the way is sitting there at the table, as you know. Astet. However, I don’t think she’d appreciate people calling them by her name.
I have to say, I’m very excited to see her in Midgard, I am dying to have her say: “O zephyr winds which blow on high! Lift me now so I can fly.”
And other seriously cheesy commands:
[YOUTUBE]https://youtu.be/jtTnCrQ_1lc[/YOUTUBE]
Not immediately seeing the first one from blurbs.
Second one seem rather atrocious. Of course it might not have been direct plagerism so much as he read waldo books and then wrote the same story on his own.
But still reason for caution.
She could have used some beta demons to catch crap like that!
Of course, it’s hard to get beta demons for a first book. You basically use friends you can bully into reading your work.
For book 1, I was fortunate to have 1) a friend who was a sf/fantasy book-a-holic even worse than me 2) a couple others that were working with me on a table top rpg that used Astlan as the setting.
And an incredible amount of time to go away, come back fresh and read again, start again.
Yes,
No contradiction other than all the contradictions of Wikipedia. Which are, in effect, the contradictions of mythology that we have today which is different ancient Greek authors giving their spin.
There were two underworld gods, Hades and Orcus ( the major ones ) We have not seen Hades, because there is no need so far. We are mixing a lot of religions to create a “compromise” reality that is slightly/barely reconcilable.
Hades was sort of in charge of normal dead souls, Orcus was in charge of punishing oath breakers and such. Failures of Honor.
I would argue that Orcus was in charge of the criminals, the oathbreakers and such. Hades just handled the Olympian afterlife. If you had an Olympian contract, he was the guy that handled your afterlife. Unless you did something “bad” like breaking and oath, in which case you were handed off to Orcus.
One might presume that the Titans (and others) were deserving of oath breaking punishment (“I swear not to deliver fire”) and so locked up in Tartarus. Of course, they took more than just that. Perhaps that is the “sin” of Orcus that led to his downfall.
Again, I am arguing here, this topic, based on Wikipedia. It’s crowdsourced. I am actually going on my “visions” [unsure] and so reserve the right to say “Wikipedia screwed up/is wrong” But…to be fair…it is not so much wrong as incomplete.
I actually go back to “original sources” o:) Meaning Edith Hamilton, the ADD Monster Manual, and similar RPG books and fantasy books from various sources.
Did he say it in front of Jenn?
If he did, I assume she discounted it. But I am hoping he did not say it in front of her.
I stand corrected. I remember the scene well, just not the ending/last line. I focus in my mind on getting them to admit friendship
I was reading more into it than you said. When you said Tizzy told them Rupert was Edwyrd’s son…in my head I replaced Edwyrd with “Tom”
Yes, you are right. However, she didn’t believe it because of the age difference, and because Rupert had said they were cousins. Again “demons lie; it’s what they do”
However, it is something that I can use to help her put the pieces together. Thanks!
She is racist, against demons. She doesn’t trust them, and quite frankly, no sane wizard would. Particularly a thaumaturge who are very nature oriented. I mean, remember book 1. Demons have every reason to want to torture, maim and kill wizards. They’ve got a lot of justification.
She is somewhat religious, but not that hugely so, say like your typical american christian, maybe less, she doesn’t go to church much.
Her problem really is the information pipeline. As far as she knew Edwyrd and Rupert had disappeared when her back was turned, and Tom had mysteriously abandoned them in Gizzor Dell.
For her, the pieces just don’t add up. There are just too many things that don’t add up.
However, she is not stupid, also from the balling, she now knows that Tom can shape change (he did not shape change into Edwyrd in the battle though) however there was so much going on, and everyone focused on other stuff, it didn’t quite click. Now just recently finding out about Exador she knows they can be very convincing. Or at least–I think the Nimbus people know–I did write that didn’t I?
With Gastrope’s tangled stories about Edwyrd/Tom/Rupert, she’s going to put two and two together very soon.
I know. There are days when it is hard not to channel Robert Asprin too much.
In fact, the artist and eye saw eye to eye on Myth Adventures (earlier versions) as being key to the new styles for covers.
Yeah, he’s not mentioned it. I think subconsciously he’s betting he scared the crap out of Lenamare so he won’t try anything.
And/or, he has a LOT more mana now with the Doom Generators, he might be able to resist.
But yes, he should be thinking about it, I need to have that in there.
Lenamare is likely to need to try and summon Tom again, probably in Book4 unless it gets pushed to 5.
