General spelling & spelling

[Skaar]

I Should prey to Hilda should be pray page 216

Tom shook his head in disbelief scriously Talarius how insancly big is your ego. Should be seriously and insancly should be insanely. Pg 57

She is clearly a skilled Enchantress and I have no idea what races she is . Beragamos pg 22

The do not take advice from the sheep. The should be they physicality 21

[fallen_one_84]

chapter 125
keepers city

Around the bush, hidden from his previous view, but
otherwise in plain site was the body of a young girl! Verigas
recoiled in horror.

replace site with sight.

i could be wrong though.

second opinion?

[Iume]

Nope, it should be “plain sight” as you thought.

[Skaar]

I Should prey to Hilda should be pray page 216

Tom shook his head in disbelief scriously Talarius how insancly big is your ego. Scriously Should be seriously and insancly should be insanely. Pg 57

She is clearly a skilled Enchantress and I have no idea what races she is. Races should be race. pg 22

The do not take advice from the sheep. It should be They do not take advice from sheep. Pg 22

[Iume]

“Tommus, may I introduce my Lord Orcus in his principle form.”

If using principle to mean main then it should principal. If using it to mean most basic, fundamental form then principle. However, given the total dialogue in this scene I believe it is the first.

—

Use all sensors to detect D’Orcs coming for us, and raise the shields as soon as you spot anything. In the meantime, we…”

Missing ” at the beginning of the dialogue.

—

discuss vs. discus

corn rows vs. cornrows

virtual mortal life –> virtuous mortal life. Actually the Case of the Toxic Spelldump dealth with virtual & virtuous mortal life, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

major domo vs majordomo

regathered is forces –> regathered his forces

An orc’s family consists of his or hir immediate family -> His or her unless deliberately using the term hir like with djinn.

[The Author Guy]

[quote=Iume;3881]These crop up across chapters

alter vs altar (sooooo many of these)

[/quote]
OK, apparently don’t know how to spell altar. Sheesh.
[quote=Iume;3881]
employee vs employ
[/quote]
Went through and not seeing anything wrong here.

employee is a person that you employ. Not seeing that wrong, at least not in alpha-1, might have been fixed in that pass.

[quote=Iume;3881]
taught vs taut

discrete vs discreet
[/quote]
Fixed
[quote=Iume;3881]
canon vs cannon
[/quote]

So you are saying that saints get canonized and the Inferno gets gravity cannonized.

](*,)

[quote=Iume;3881]
wonder vs wander
[/quote]

Good Usirus! Do I ever overuse the word wonder! I suspect that is the predominant feeling in the book.

Time for a thesaurus.

[quote=Iume;3881]
numerus vs numerous
[/quote]

Really odd that spell checker did not get this numerus isn’t a word that I know of.
[quote=Iume;3881]
prey vs pray
[/quote]
Fixed
[quote=Iume;3881]
rod vs Rod
[/quote]
This goes to my whole random acts of capitalization issue…

In this case, I think, but am verifying that if I am talking about a name it is caps, if its generic its not.

Thus “the Rod of Tiernon” or “the Rod member” (he’s a member of the Rod, not a rod.

similarly, when referring to the Rod of Tommus or he waved the Rod above his head.

vs “user your rod to do this” (it’s a rod, not necessarily “the Rod (of Tommus)

But I admit I am on thin ground with this.
[quote=Iume;3881]
route vs rout
[/quote]
this one was hard to spot, but fixed a lot of en-route to en route
[quote=Iume;3881]
midgard vs Midgard

Here everything his hydroponics. –> is hydroponics
[/quote]
Fixed both
[quote=Iume;3881]
“Awww!” Tal Gor screamed as –> Awww! sounds like someone seeing a cute kitten. Argh! Owww! Garrgh! work better.
[/quote]
Never tell an orc their pain sounds like a kitten! Went to Argh!

[quote=Iume;3881]
And how man alvar were judged sufficient –> how many
[/quote]
Fixed.
[quote=Iume;3881]
“He said he pursued and archdemon into the Abyss.” –> an archdemon
Also, in bk2 there was a lot of shifting between archdemon and achaedemon or some such. I didn’t see that in this book.
[/quote]

Yeah, its a question of who was talking. I need to back and look at who was using archaedemon in previous books.

I am sure there are some people out there who say daemon as well.

I do know that liliths PA/Chamberlan/Chief of Stff prefers that spelling. He’s actually famous in his own right. His name is Cron. Although out of deference to his mistriss he does not capitalize his name and just goes by “cron” it turns out she can be rather sensitive to such cases.

[The Author Guy]

Yeah, this is actually why I originally called it the boiling point of water and didn’t give temperatures much in book 1.

Whatever the atmospheric pressure is in the abyss, the temperature is close to the vapor point.

Talk a little bit about this with the Inferno, but do seriously gloss it over.

Now as far as distance. I’ve tried not to translate that. I try to use leagues where ever possible.

This is because time is different, there are 20 hours in an Astlanian day, we don’t know what that correlates to in Earth time.

Leagues however are time and space invariant.

A league is the distance that an average height human can sustainably walk in one hour. Hour after hour. (The Boy Scout pace)

Thus the length of hours can change, but a league is a league.

[Iume]

[quote=The Author Guy;4503]Celsius would make so much more sense. Given that the ambient temperature of the Abyss is around 96 to 98 degrees Celsius, it seems like a more usable scale.
[/quote]

It’s a completely different world / plane. Celsius wouldn’t make sense either. The boiling temperature of water at sea level varies based on the world’s atmospheric pressure and Celsius is just a 100 degree division of the boiling temperature at sea level on Earth vs. its freezing point. In fact I’m surprised people don’t notice a difference when they go from Astlan to Nysegard. It implies all worlds have roughly the same pressure.

You also have the same thing for distances on Astlan. IIRC Tom always just translated to what he is used to.

Now, the Abyss on the other hand is just plain weird.

[The Author Guy]

[quote=GameGraphix;3889]Here’s a list of spelling / grammar or general issues / queries…

There are several occurrences of the word “drug” to indicates someone dragged away – not sure if this an issue to do with Aussie vs American language, but it always jars when I when I see the word in this context
[/quote]

Very interesting. Looked this up on dictionary.com and the main use is as in drugged, or drugs. But it also says:

drug2

{druhg}
Spell Syllables
verb, Chiefly Midland and Southern U.S. Nonstandard.
1.
a simple past tense and past participle of drag.
[/quote]

I’ve live most of my life in the midwest US (Iowa, IL) with long stints in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona where most everyone speaks midwestern English (since thats where most people move from)

So we always use drug as the past tense. Or at least I do.

However, Tom is from New Jersey. He would use the “Joisey” version.

Anyone from NY/NJ reading and know what is preferred? “he had been drug into a conference with his commanders” or “he had been dragged into a conference with his commanders”

Of course, to me, getting dragged in Australia brings to mind a touring bus with a bunch of men with fabulous wardrobes wandering the Outback. Preferably sitting on top of the bus with a very long silver trane…

[YOUTUBE]https://youtu.be/Ksvm7fovhJQ[/YOUTUBE]

[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Preface: Dates, Time and Previously[/b]
Recent milestones – “[color=blue]…the Archdeom Bess arrived…[/color]” – by the end of book 2 it was established that Bess was a goddess.
[/quote]
However, this is discussing the fact that an archdemon named Bess showed up in the Courts. No one in the Courts knew or knows that she’s a goddess. This prologue is “semi-objective” whatever that means.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 116 – Mount Doom[/b]
[color=blue]That was the NEVER spoken name of Lilith. Well, not name, insult name.[/color] – these are awkward sentences
[/quote]

Changed to
[quote]
Servants of the Jilted Bride!” The demon shouted. Half the army, or half of those still capable, hissed at that statement, not so much from anger as from fear. The Jilted Bride was the NEVER spoken name of Lilith. Well, not actually a name, more of a tile, in fact, an epithet. There was no better way to guarantee one’s own horrible, terrible, unpleasant death than to use that title.
[/quote]

[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[color=blue]Lesteroth nodded, Talgorf chuckled neverviously.[/color] – who is Talgorf, don’t remember him being mentioned before or after this..
[/quote]

He’s mentioned quite a bit in this book, at least in regards to the Doomspa; he showed up in Book 2 during the march. He is one of Lesteroth’s two friends, the other being Bellyachus.

They currently work in the Doomspa; see the post D’Orcing

[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 117[/b]

Murgatroy: Several hours earlier, DOA + 1, Shortly after lunch.

[color=blue]I got in contact with after the battle with Talarius and he….[/color] – seems to be a missing name Tom here

I got in contact with after
[color=blue]”The keep talking about going across some…..”[/color] – should be “They keep talking
[/quote]
Fixed in Alpha 1
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Murgatroy
[color=blue]”You promised to be right out to the site.”[/color] – which site is Jen talking about
[/quote]

the landing/research site/landing site/D’Orc portal where they had all their equipment. added “reserch” in front of site.

[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 120[/b]
Mount Doom: DOA + 2, Early Fourth Period

[color=blue]”Had she never been to the Planes of Orc?”[/color] – by the end of book 2 Tom is calling the lands Midgard instead of either the Planes of Orcs or the Planes of Men.
[/quote]

He goes back and forth, Midgard is pretty archaic, used mainly by the old D’Orcs.

Changed to Midgard.

[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 122[/b]
Mount Doom
[color=blue]Tom shook his watching Talarius twist and contort in his armor….[/color] – should this be “Tom shook his head, watching Talairus…
[/quote]
Yep. Fixed in Alpha 1
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 123[/b]
Murgatroy
[color=blue]”…Lord Edwyrd does employee Rune Magic…”[/color] – should be employ
[/quote]
From up above/earlier fixed.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]

[b]Chapter 124[/b]
The Inferno: DOA + 4, Late Second Period
[color=blue]”Well, are we not fortunate not to have to deal with that.”[/color] – awkward sentence
[/quote]
Can’t find it, must have fixed it.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Mount Doom
[color=blue]Which was pretty good Tom in Tom’s opinion[/color] – should be “Which was pretty good in Tom’s opinion
[/quote]
previously fixed.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 125[/b]
The Abyss
[color=blue]…a giant Typhoon class submarine from one the Earths.[/color] – should be “from one of the Earths”
[/quote]
yep. Fixed it now.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 126[/b]
Tierhallon: DOA +5, Late Fourth Period
[color=blue]”…and Abomination?”[/color] – should be “…an Abomination?”
[/quote]
Good catch. Fixed.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 129[/b]
DoomSpa
[color=blue]…a shopping expedition to the Planes of Meat[/color] – did you mean to say “Meat” or “Men” – I could see some demons referring to the humans as “Meat”
[/quote]
Meat. Yes indeedy! =d>
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Fort Murgatroid: Mid Third Period
[color=blue]”As you are, I am sure aware, this is a very…”[/color] – awkward sentence
[/quote]
Yes, I see it. Thoughts?
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 131[/b]
Rod camp outside of Freehold: Mid First Period
[color=blue]”You are inside our inside our Holy Silence…”[/color] – should be “You are inside our Holy Silence.”
[/quote]
Thanks
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 132[/b]

Fort Murgatroid: Mid-Sixth Period
[color=blue]He had expected them to focus on his efforts to focus on[/color] – repetitive use of “focus on” in these sentence
[/quote]
Lost some focus!
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
The Abyss, The Outpost: Late 6th Period
[color=blue]bulky metal container with a triggered straw on its top… [/color]- I not sure what a triggered straw is????
[/quote]
Try this:
[quote]
Tom shook his head looking at the slightly bulky metal container with a sealed straw on with a trigger to open once in ones mouth, within his hand, while running his tongue around his tingling mouth. “That is a truly unique taste!” He marveled looking up at his hosts.
[/quote]
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 133[/b]
Citadel of Light: Late Sixth Period
[color=blue]Grob shook his again and glanced….[/color] – shook his what?
[/quote]
It was head, fixed it earlier.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 134[/b]
Mount Doom: Late Second Period
[color=blue]Here everything his hydroponics[/color] – should be “is hydroponics”
[/quote]
fixed in earlier post
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]

[b]Chapter 135[/b]
The Inferno: Mid Fourth Period
[color=blue]Gaius commented someone sarcastically[/color] – should be “somewhat sarcastically”
[/quote]
yep, fixed.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]

[b]Chapter 136[/b]
Astlan, Orcan Plains, 20 Leagues Southwest of Jötunnhenj: Early Fifth Period
[color=blue]But simply to him, unless he wanted to be a martyr[/color]… – awkward sentence
[/quote]
[quote]
But not simply towards him, unless he wanted to be a martyr, but beyond him, some sort of giant fire and lightning magnet that the essence of Fire could return to.
[/quote]
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]

[color=blue]…but if Lord Tommus could that portal to suck… [/color]- missing some words
[/quote]
[quote]
He was not sure it made much sense, but if Lord Tommus could use a Fire portal to suck heat away, surely his lord could use the Fire portal to suck down a fireball or lightning bolt.
[/quote]
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Nysegard, Krallnomton Henge: Moments Later
[color=blue]”He is somewhere else, with one the shamans[/color] – should be “with one of the shamans”
[/quote]
Fixed
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
from chapter 136 you refer to the A.I where previous when the idea of the beta interface was introduced in the story it was call AII (Artificial Intelligence Interface)
[/quote]
I believe it should all be A.I.I. now.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
[b]Chapter 137[/b]
DoomSpa: Minutes Later
[color=blue]I know one guy, who chose to flee the hinterlands after the cold spell, he was captured in one of our raids and she tortured him for a solid two decades…[/color] – what cold spell is this referring to?? If is the one at the end of book 2 then the demon could not have been tortured for 20 years….
[/quote]
The near absolute zero period. In this case spell means a short duration rather than ritualized magic. How about
[quote]
I know one guy, who chose to flee to the hinterlands after Lord Tommus’ deep freeze maneuver,
[/quote]

[quote=GameGraphix;3889]

Library of Doom: DOA + 13, Early First Period
[color=blue]It was like had really grokked…[/color] – should be “It was like he had really grokked”, although I have absolutely no idea what “grokked” means….can only guess from the context
[/quote]

[quote]
It was like had finally grokked the whole demon business for the first time.
[/quote]

What? grok” it’s “standard english”, it’s even in the dictionary http://www.dictionary.com/browse/grok?s=t 🙂

Robert Heinlein: Stranger in a Strange Land, re: Michael Valentine Smith

[quote=GameGraphix;3889]

[b]Chapter 138[/b]

Isle of Doom, Krallnomton: Early Third Period

[color=blue]His first thoughts were if concern[/color] – should be “thoughts were of concern”

The Inferno
[color=blue]”He said he pursued and archdemon..[/color] – should be “He said he pursued an archdemon
[/quote]
Fixed both, thanks.
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]

[b]Chapter 140[/b]

Citadel of Light: DOA + 15, Shortly after Dawn
[color=blue]”It is a myth, some of the most powerful vampires can take on winged bat…”[/color] – this sentence seems to contradict itself, on one hand say that vampires changing into bats is a myth and then saying that power vampires can do it

[/quote]

Here is what is there at the moment, not sure if I changed it after you wrote this, but before I got to it.
[quote]
Leighton chuckled. “It is a myth, some of the most powerful vampires can take on winged bat-like forms, but they are not actual bats. No, vampire bats are very large, extremely vicious and deadly bats under the control of vampires. They fly in large swarms and swoop down upon victims from the sky en masse.”
[/quote]

The powerful vampires can take a bat like form, but they are not actual bats. It’s a bat like form, e.g. the man-bat from Batman comics. [albumimg]31[/albumimg]

[The Author Guy]

[quote=fallen_one_84;3949]chapter 125
keepers city

Around the bush, hidden from his previous view, but
otherwise in plain site was the body of a young girl! Verigas
recoiled in horror.

replace site with sight.

i could be wrong though.

second opinion?[/quote]

You are correct, fixed!

[The Author Guy]

[quote=Skaar;3952]I Should prey to Hilda should be pray page 216

Tom shook his head in disbelief scriously Talarius how insancly big is your ego. Scriously Should be seriously and insancly should be insanely. Pg 57

She is clearly a skilled Enchantress and I have no idea what races she is. Races should be race. pg 22

The do not take advice from the sheep. It should be They do not take advice from sheep. Pg 22[/quote]

Fixed! Thanks

[The Author Guy]

[quote=Iume;3918]

Additional errors:
Tardis -> TARDIS

ASAP.: -> Remove : at the end. (Chapter 133)

—

Edit: This is either a conversion problem for the epub format or it exists in the main file but sometimes the text is full justified instead of left justified.[/quote]

That’s really embarrasing on the TARDIS Time And Relative Dimension In Space Doh! ](*,)

Can’t find the : at the end of chapter 133

OK, I think it may be a translation problem; however, when I get ready to publish, justification etc will be redone/reset. That’s the thing, it can take a good two weeks to get things loaded correctly into Amazon, particularly with Create Space for the paperback, that’s the really tricky one with long delays for them to review.

[The Author Guy]

[quote=Iume;3987]”Tommus, may I introduce my Lord Orcus in his principle form.”

If using principle to mean main then it should principal. If using it to mean most basic, fundamental form then principle. However, given the total dialogue in this scene I believe it is the first.
[/quote]

Your point is correct, except it is his “true” form which would be principle form. This is one of those interesting places where these two vexing words are equally correct!

I think I’m going to just say “true form” since that’s the demonic terminology. (Even if it isn’t, everyone assumed it was, thus we would say his default form)

“…Lord Orcus in what is believed to be his true form.””

[quote=Iume;3987]
—

Use all sensors to detect D’Orcs coming for us, and raise the shields as soon as you spot anything. In the meantime, we…”

Missing ” at the beginning of the dialogue.
[/quote]

Yes, I keep finding that happening in several spots.

[quote=Iume;3987]

discuss vs. discus
[/quote]
Not finding this…did I say discuss for a round throwing thing
[quote=Iume;3987]
corn rows vs. cornrows
[/quote]
fixed
[quote=Iume;3987]

virtual mortal life –> virtuous mortal life. Actually the Case of the Toxic Spelldump dealth with virtual & virtuous mortal life, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.
[/quote]

No you have to live online! o:) Fixed!

[quote=Iume;3987]

major domo vs majordomo
[/quote]
replaced with major-domo
[quote=Iume;3987]

regathered is forces –> regathered his forces

An orc’s family consists of his or hir immediate family -> His or her unless deliberately using the term hir like with djinn.[/quote]
[/quote]

Supposed to be her; orcs don’t recognize other gender variants.

[Iume]

[quote=The Author Guy;4506]
[quote=GameGraphix;3889]
Fort Murgatroid: Mid Third Period
[color=blue]”As you are, I am sure aware, this is a very…”[/color] – awkward sentence
[/quote]
Yes, I see it. Thoughts?
[/quote]

[color=red]As I’m sure you are aware[/color], this is a very unusual and highly [s]discrete[/s] [color=red]discreet[/color] mission.

[quote=The Author Guy;4502]
[quote=Iume;3881]
employee vs employ
[/quote]
Went through and not seeing anything wrong here.

employee is a person that you employ. Not seeing that wrong, at least not in alpha-1, might have been fixed in that pass.
[/quote]

You did fix this in Alpha 1.

[The Author Guy]

I did discrete discreet with one of the earlier posts/messages, so it should be good as of today. I went through all of both today.

[Author]

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