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  • in reply to: First Read through! #4302
    Draelith
    Member

    Cool, glad to help out! Still taking notes as I read through version 1, but will probably wait till version 2 draft for the second half (if I find any).

    Overall really enjoying the plot and characters, especially the witty banter (Tizzy!). My wife always knows I’m pretty engrossed when I start chuckling while reading a story. 🙂

    in reply to: First Read through! #4296
    Draelith
    Member

    Read through 44% so far and really digging the Abyssal tour. 🙂 This is the version downloaded the weekend of the 4th (for reference).

    For first read through focused on breaks in my immersion due to misspelled words. Granted I’m no writer/editor myself, so I could be wrong in some instances! Will take another pass when the next version comes out and keep building. Denoting potential errors in [b][h]bold [/h][/b] and highlight with rough location (converted from epub to mobi for my kindle so chapters are all wonky sorry). Hopefully this is enough context to find them:

    Page 26- Chapter 83
    However, if he wanted to try and cheat one more time, I’d [b][h]give[/h][/b] him a lesson…”

    Page 32- Chapter 83
    Trisfelt said, puzzled but still a bit flustered by her bright and [b][h][b][h]fiery[/h][/b][/h][/b] smile.

    Page 54 – Chapter 84
    Clearly being talented in Demonology was [b][h]extraneous[/h][/b] for Etonian priesthood. So perhaps that had been for the best.

    Page 64 – Chapter 85
    “And what does Gandros [b][h]want[/h][/b] with the good Seer?”

    Page 67 – Chapter 85
    “Although, if they are being picky about who [b][h]they[/h][/b] let back in…”

    Page 70 – Chapter 85
    “He is, apparently, according to Maelen at least, [b][h]a[/h][/b] very powerful…”

    Page 105 – Chapter 86
    “Again, just Tom. I’m no lord of anything or [b][h]anyone[/h][/b].”

    Page 170 – Chapter 90
    Such a bargain was obviously [b][h]unholy[/h][/b] and a sin and abomination.

    Page 171 – Chapter 90
    Redirected it [b][h]from[/h][/b] himself to Talarius.

    Page 178 – Chapter 91
    Many of us, myself included, worship Hephaestus God [b][h]of[/h][/b] the Forge, Craftsmen and our people.

    Page 200 – Chapter 93
    “You met [b][h]his[/h][/b] father yesterday, Gnorman.”

    Page 221 – Chapter 93
    She glanced again at the woman’s way too revealing [b][h]clothes[/h][/b].

    Page 247 – Chapter 95
    Which one of us [b][h]is the[/h][/b] healer here?

    Page 250- Chapter 95
    “I would agree; while I don’t [b][h]know[/h][/b] Lenmare…”

    Page 254 – Chapter 95
    Talarius[b][h]’s[/h][/b] [b][h]armor[/h][/b] was very clearly rattling now…

    Page 308 – Chapter 95
    “Oh Great Master, Lord of [b][h]Lords[/h][/b]…

    in reply to: Become a Beta Demon #3901
    Draelith
    Member

    Just finished my re-read of Book 1. Clicked the magic link and now waiting for my beta demon body to form… :d/

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