Beta 4, Fight!
2015-04-13 at 20:04 #4494
I know…too many knights. Hmm. Big thing for me was that normally when I used to say knight, I meant (mostly) Talarius…so when it’s Talarius vs Knight of Chaos…it was bugging me writing it.
Anyone got thoughts on alternate words/names?2020-06-02 at 15:18 #1290
Fight!Fight!2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4491
Liked the new fight! =d>
Would have liked to see Lilliths face, but I’m content to see that in the next book.2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4492
Oh, I seriously toyed with that; and having Tom make some send some demons back with a “I’m coming for you Jilted Bride!”
But I finally decided that would break the flow I was going for, plus throwing out threats like that doesn’t seem Tom’s style…
Me on the other hand? I’d have done exactly that and had 2 or 3 Maelstroms on my door the next day!
Of course, I could then just give them the “cold shoulder”2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4493LhansMember
Nice fight at the end though the usage of “knight” became rather repetitive though. That’s it for now. Sleepy.2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4495
One thing I wasnt clear on at the end of the fight in Beta 4, is if Tom still took a large number of Lilith’s demons into his group to spare them from ‘final death’ once he was done with the Chaos Knights. Were all of the ‘enemy’ wiped out, or will their capture and allegiance be in book 3?
I thought the recruitment of the unwilling soldiers was more in Toms character than wholesale slaughter, given he has an alternative, and seems to go along with the kind of ‘Dark Lord’ he wants to be. It also nicely filled the ‘Doom needs more bodies’ requirement, as I doubt the Nyjyr Ennead would be moving significant forces into Doom from their moon, even with Hephaestus wanting to move in.2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4496
I got the Impression, that no recruitment occured.2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4497
Actually, there will be some recruitment; probably not as wholesale as before.
I was thinking to put that into Book 3 to preserve momentum in book 2.
I do agree, the recruitment is really more like Tom.
One big thing that has changed from the original “non-fight” until now is that somehow, around the time I was writing the “Explore the crystal caves/hydra hound” part; I got it stuck in my head that death in the Abyss was permanent. Which is a common effect in many novels that have multi-layered after lives.
And this also helped explain attrition on both the demons and D’Orcs….so I just dug deeper.
However, that contradicted what I’d said in Book 1 after the fight with the dragon. And what I had originally intended for so long.
Yes it is permanent, but it’s very hard to achieve; which is why you can torture demons (and people) for a very long time–see Book 2 when they first arrive and are talking to Talarius.
I basically got a glitch in my head and when I write, I get “in character” so Tom started freaking about permanently killing “pawns” so to speak; and the demons bought into it as well, hence Lesteroth etc being so convinced they were going to die.
After this flaw in my thinking was pointed out to me in the beta process; I went “doh!” and began working to revise what I said in Book 2, in that death is permanent, but you really gotta work at it, and often then the demon/D’Orc has to sort of give up or stop making the effort to regenerate (somehow)
So…in beta 4; I purposefully made the battle with the demons more humorous with demons being ripped to shreds repeatedly.
I almost put a scene in where everyone stops a second time to watch a battle and Bellyachus complains (muffled) that he can’t see what’s happening because a D’Orc had shoved his head up his butt and he couldn’t see anything.
So what I see as having happened is:
The D’Orcs were massacring the demons, but not permanently, they were regenerating, but losing mana; then Tom started sucking away the mana and regeneration really slowed down.
So the aftermath of the battle involves picking up demon parts (still alive) and putting them in wheel barrows etc. Tom will then give the same ultimatum/offer as before but this time, the demons will be defeated.
I can put this in Book 2; I simply didn’t in order to keep the momentum going. I was thinking that the recruitment thing might seem anticlimatic.
Thoughts?2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4498
Maybe a small addition to Arg-nargiloth’s after battle monologue in 115.0, about getting the D’Orc troops to round up the various dismemberd demon pieces to capture and deal with later, or something similar. Then in book 3 the demons are stored somewhere (or still outside but under guard) literally pulling themselves together.
As I read the current changes as most of the demon army was wiped out permanently with the additional troops and active Doom defenses.2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4499
OK, will make that clearer.
They were all buried by volcano, but dug themselves out to get chopped to pieces, regenerated, chopped to pieces, regenerate chopped to pieces (which is standard for killing demons in the Abyss) but some (D’Orcs too) probably stopped to watch the battle and shiver in the cold/play in the snow.
Maybe another brief interlude or Arg-nargoloth musing on how the D’Orc vs Demon battle turned into a snowball fight; since that was something that never ever happens in the Abyss.
:-k2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4500
Since hell HAS frozen over (at least for a little bit), the multiverse is going to need a new saying… Maybe ‘When Lilith gives to charity?’2020-06-02 at 15:21 #4501
[-o< Too evilly true dude... Oh wait; dude is an '80's term...(well I think its immortal)...(if not an immortal word choice, have exposed myself as an 80,000 year old demon) __ On related note, and this I suppose ties to the "Fierd" issue...Beta 4 was full restraint mode; that (Hell Freezing) would have taken a LOT of refinement to perfect, the place is Abyss not Hell and so subtwining the two...Abyss freezes over vs Hell. [OK, thinking of adding more of that...see post on recruitment etc.] Now that being said, Hel is a Norwegian/Viking goddess (and yes I love the Almighty Johnsons) she would it right in with the Jotungard plot. As many do, I love the fact that equatorial (Middle East mostly) see the "bad" afterlife as heat, hot searing agony. Whereas polar groups (Vikings) see the "bad" afterlife as cold, miserable etc. Going back to post on Amazon and why I like reincarnation and new sets of rides at an amusement park. A hot hell represents Chaos/Change/Transformation Cold "heaven" represents Law/Order/Stability/Sameness Who wants boring for eternity? Yes it is comforting for the first billion years, or maybe first half and last half...you get it. At least Hell/Abyss/Chaos gives you some hope for spontaneity/change (unless in contract)
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