Alpha-3 Zargvarst talking to Zargvarst. Page 319
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Conversation between trevin and Zargvarst and he talks to without stopping. On page 319.
“. . . He never has never prevailed over me” Zargvarst said with fierce pride.
“I know him and his sister quite well. If they have agreed to remove their sky patrol around jotunnhenj, that means there are troops elsewhere in our realm that he is not withdrawing. If he were to say, he was removing all sky patrol from our realm, that would mean he was leaving ground troops, or other forces that he can conveniently claim are not ‘sky patrol.'” Zargvarst said sternly.
“I understand his treacherous tricks all too well to be fooled.” Zargvarst stated.”
Kinda sounds like he is talking to himself with the “fierce pride” “Said sternly” “stated.” Kinda like a run on sentence but with him talking to himself.
So the ending quote from zargvarst is him repeating what Tom said, after the battle with liliths soldiers, about leaders having a bond with their soldiers. But it seems to not be mentioned again. I mean saying that the queen of demons sent a demon army to attack another demon prince would be something they would mention in the next bit. Especially with the army switching sides.
If you’re trying to make Gastope seem suspicious in Maelen and Trevins minds it could be another good “slip” where Gastope having more info then he really should.
Yes he is speechifying a lot.
Does this add clarity?
[quote]“And also, what about his land patrols, scouts and soldiers of all other natures?” Zargvarst asked.
Trevin shook her head gently. “I am sorry? I do not believe we have been introduced?”
Zargvarst gave the enchantress what Jenn suspected was supposed to be an amused nod of appreciation, but which, she herself found a bit ominous.
“I am Zargvarst El Crooked Stick, of the Astlanian Crooked Sticks. While you and I have not met, Ariel and I have met, several times. I spent my mortal life combating his many crimes against the orcs, and after my death, I continued to defend our lands from their barbarous incursions. I have led troops against him on over a dozen occasions, I have personally fought him to a standstill as a mortal, and once defeated him in combat as a D’Orc. He has never prevailed over me.” Zargvarst said with a fierce pride.
He continued sternly. “I know both he and his sister quite well. If they have agreed to remove their sky patrols around Jötunnhenj, that means there are troops elsewhere in our realm that he is not withdrawing. If he were to say, he was removing all sky patrols from our realm, that would mean he was leaving ground troops, or other forces that he can conveniently claim are not ‘sky patrols.’”
Jenn could see the tension in Trevin’s back as Zargvarst gave his speech.
“I understand his treacherous tricks all too well to be fooled.” Zargvarst stated before suddenly smiling and changing the subject, “As to the rest of my immediate party. Allow me to present one of my fiercest warriors, Didar An Sep.” He gestured towards the female D’Orc who nodded.
He gestured to Lob Smasher. “This is Lob Smasher an Elder of the Crooked Sticks of Astlan, the tribe that first contacted Mount Doom. Lob Smasher nodded to them.
“Finally may I present, Lord Tommus’ Shaman Commander in Astlan, Tal Gor El Crooked Stick. The first shaman to journey to Mount Doom in over four-thousand years. Tal Gor, you should know, is also the shaman that blew Arial’s cowardly wizard out of the sky, forcing the pusillanimous pig to abandon his soldiers. Craven, as all alvar are, he fled when confronted by his superior.” Zargvarst was practically spitting his contempt for the alvaran wizard.
Tal Gor, carrying an insanely large pole arm/slash magical staff bowed his head to Trevin in acknowledgement. Did that staff have a mana pool? There was a very large sapphire embedded in it, along with some other sort of metallic stone mounted in a complicated setting. She quickly made the motion to activate her wizard site.
“Holy…” Jenn whispered to herself in surprise. That staff was extremely magical! And the odd stone had a link going off plane, carefully brushing it with her mind, she was able to get a feeling that she recognized as being the demon Tom. This shaman could have Tom in the room within a heartbeat!
She glanced towards Maelen and Elrose who were clearly, also, staring at the staff. Gastropé seemed to pay it no attention, he had most likely seen it before.
Trevin nodded. “I am Trevin D’Vil, Enchantress of the Grove and Councilor of Wizardry in the Council States, with me are Maelen of the Society of Learned Fellows, Elrose of Lenamare’s School of Wizardry, and adjunct of the Council. As well as Jenn Rean and Gastropé Al-Ghayrani also from the Council.”
Tal Gor and the D’Orcs gave all of them brief acknowledgements. Amazingly, to Jenn’s great relief they pretended not to know her and Gastropé.
“As I conveyed to Elgrida Far Eyes yesterday, Prince Ariel conveys his regrets regarding this attack.” Trevin said.
Didar An Sep snorted, Jenn noticed Tal Gor giving Didar a quick glance and a short smile.
Zargvarst nodded. “Prince Ariel? So his father continues to refuse to die? Please convey to Prince Arial my deepest condolences on that subject.” Several orcs suppressed chuckles at this.
Zargvarst continued. “I am certain Prince Arial regrets—his losses. What remains unspoken is his regret for his unprovoked actions.”
Zargvarst looked around at the others within the room. “All should do well to remember, that at least one half of everything an alfar says is found in what they did not say. Their purposeful omissions speak as loudly, and often more loudly, than their actual words.
“Enchantress, go back to Prince Arial and tell him who he is dealing with; so that he may know the truth of what I shall tell you.” The D’Orc commander paused to allow Trevin to nod in agreement.
“Also, assure him that we will not kill his prisoners if he does not remove his forces.” Zargvarst stated calmly, much to the surprise of everyone in the room, particularly the orcs. There were numerous murmurs of surprise and consternation.
“No, they shall not die. Ever.” Zargvarst stated threateningly. “We shall, instead, drag them, and their mounts down into the deepest and darkest reaches of Mount Doom, in the Abyss; into an impossible prison, from which not even light escapes! And they shall be mercilessly tortured, their living flesh peeled from the bone; then they shall be forced through painful regeneration—only to have this repeated over and over for eternity.”
Jenn blanched at this, as did, of course, Gastropé, but Maelen and Elrose also seemed disturbed.
“Yet, fear not, there shall be some creative respites. When not peeling their live flesh, we shall eviscerate and disembowel them, and force feed their living organs and bowels to their compatriots.” Zargvarst grinned menacingly.
“Tell Prince Arial that these are but the least of the torments they shall endure for all eternity if he does not remove every single alfar, and every alvaran ally, stooge, henchmen and other being from our territory.” Zargvarst finished. The room went silent.
“Finally, should he agree, we will hold the prisoners here, unharmed until we can verify that all alvar are gone from our realm.” Zargvarst stated leaving another long silence.
Finally, Tal Gor spoke up. “Any questions?”
“I think not.” Trevin said quietly.
Zargvarst nodded. “Elgrida, get word of our proposal spread wide, outside of the orcs, to the alvar and others. Should Prince Ariel refuse our offer, I want everyone, in particular his own troops, to know what they can expect under his command. His loyalty to his soldiers is no better than his wizard’s loyalty to the patrol he led.”
Zargvarst turned back to Trevin and looked her directly in the eyes. “Enchantress, there is a bond between soldier and leader. It is a two-way streak. Any leader who is not loyal to his soldiers, deserves no loyalty in return.”
Trevin nodded tightly.
Zargvarst glanced around to the others in the room. “Those are the words of Lord Tommus as spoken to the demon soldiers whose leader, Lilith the Jilted Bride, abandoned them to their certain defeat at the hands of Lord Tommus. Soldiers who now serve Lord Tommus, who shall be loyal to them in return.”
[/quote]Yes for the beginning. Really cleared it up.
Zargvarst looked around at the others within the room. “All should do well to remember, that at least one half of everything an alfar says is found in what they did not say. Their purposeful omissions speak as loudly, and often more loudly, than their actual words.[b]
“Enchantress, [/b]go back to Prince Arial and tell him who he is dealing with; so that he may know the truth of what I shall tell you.”This is probably the thing I noticed. Just quotation mistakes for when he ends or starts talking. Not sure if the bolded part is because you forgot to add one in the sentence before or accidentally added one after.
“Yet, fear not, there shall be some creative respites. When not peeling their live flesh, we shall eviscerate and disembowel them, and force feed their living organs and bowels to their compatriots.” [b]Zargvarst grinned menacingly. [/b]
“Tell Prince Arial that these are but the least of the torments they shall endure for all eternity if he does not remove every single alfar, and every alvaran ally, stooge, henchmen and other being from our territory.” Zargvarst finished.
The room went silent.Maybe add something in th middle, like “the tension somehow intensifies even more so in trevin’s back.” Lol ;).
Lastly the point in my earlier post, no one on The Nimbus talks about The queen of the abyss sent an army of demons to attack and lose against a demon prince. And that army switching sides.
[quote=EyeDeKay;4816]Lastly the point in my earlier post, no one on The Nimbus talks about The queen of the abyss sent an army of demons to attack and lose against a demon prince. And that army switching sides.[/quote]
Agree…more concern over this would be good…
Also, have you thought of Zargvarst bringing a copy of Antefalken’s balling of the battle to show the Orcs….this could then be used as proof of Lord Tommus’s word.
Hmm
Interesting thought on the balling.
Agreed on the Nimbus discussion of Zargvarst’s words.
I know, one big thing that needs to be done is better resolve the Nimbus/Stone Finger stuff. For the moment, to get to Beta 1, I have been focused on the Citadel stuff. Thinking that a partial wrap for Tal Gor/Jenn/Gastrope can come in Beta
One big thing to keep in mind, with the Nimbus/SF stuff, AND with Rede…we are running out of space, and what I can add, or have to cut is going to depend a lot on what the final “Beta” word count is going to be.
Not sure I can go much over 275K words.
Also, I’ve been thinking about an Appendix listing various gods and their avatars in the book. It’s getting hard to keep track of who works for who.
Problem is, that sort of appendix eats space, white space. And that’s the real problem. One solution would be to raise the price of the paperback a few dollars.
While the binding of the book maxes at 800 pages, any more than about 600 pages pushes the price of the paperback up, particularly overseas in extended distribution. As it is, keeping the price at $19.95, I end up making about 25 cents to 50 cents per paperback sold in a “real bookstore” in some countries (Not at Amazon though, paperbacks sold via amazon make about the same everywhere)
Just thinking more about the balling….it could raise more issues then it is worth – depends on were you what to take the plot…
Some of the issues that I just thought about are:
The Nimbus crew would see:
Talarius fighting on the side of Tom – this would generate a lot of confusion for those people that believe that Talarius is being tortured
The involvement of the Chaos knights in the fight
The involvement Sekhmekt in the fight on Tom’s side – from the same pantheon of the goddess that the Nimbus is tracking…This could ramp up the tension on the crew of the Nimbus
We shall need to think about this.
Where i see the most value for Zargvarst is inspiring the Orcs; what makes it’s way back to the Nimbus? Not sure.
What I am thinking though is that I can’t do justice to where this would take us in this book. It would be a kick off for a new arc, much like Rede is.
Jenn and Gastrope may have seen it previously when they were meeting with Gal Tor….would / could be another set of “secrets” that they know about Tom and the D’Orcs & Orcs…that they could possible let slip (to some extent)
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