(90.0) Issues

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  • #4132
    Iume
    Member

    Beta 1

    [u]He really hoped he hadn’t sent the poor guy to his death.[/u]  That was probably the main reason for his anxiety this morning.  Being honest, he had a good idea how many demons there were and what a big place the Abyss was, there was no realistic way Estrebrius could have found the demon, nor that it would have agreed to meet him.  Yet, while it was unlikely that Estrebrius would even locate the powerful demon lord, [u]he couldn’t resist a nagging guilt that he might have sent the demon to his death.[/u]

    Underlined sections are redundant. Perhaps a reword?

    Also, when he thinks “poor guy”, it feels that Vaselle sees him as non-demon. Perhaps calling Estrebrius “the poor fiend”? It helps to set the feelings the Vaselle has for a spawn of the Abyss.

    #1207
    Iume
    Member
    #4133

    Excellent suggestion!

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