2d Edition Blurb

Welcome To Astlan Forums Into The Abyss 2d Edition Blurb

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    So I am thinking to change the blurb on the back of the book/in the amazon store to update it for the 2nd edition.
    A number of people have mentioned being hesitant about the description in various reviews.

    Not completely sure why, but in some cases I think it’s the ‘demon weed’ stuff. So thinking to somewhat deemphasize that.

    Here is a revised blurb. I am open to new blurb suggestions from you guys if anyone wants to try writing one.

    Tom Perkinje, High School Student, Gamer, Geek, Nerd, Fanboy, New Kid in Town.

    Tom and his mother were looking for a new start after his mother and stepfather divorced. Tom was determined to get a new reputation in school, to have friends for a change, to have a life outside of books, comics, video games; to leave the dice behind. Thus when Paul invited him to a party, he jumped at the chance to come and meet new people beyond his three new friends Paul, Jack and Reggie.

    What he had not planned on doing was succumbing to peer pressure and trying pot; he was not about to become a stoner. But Paul convinced him to try some new stuff that Reggie had just gotten in Manhattan from a rather shady character in a back alley.
    And was that stuff ever strong; too strong, too weird. Whatever the joint was, it wasn’t normal weed. It took only a few hits before Tom was having a crazy out of body experience involving colored lights and being able to see the rest of the party down a long tunnel.
    Now that was strange and scary, but the crazy part was that he wasn’t alone! There were voices that were calling him, calling him to come to them.

    Long story short, the voices belonged to a group of myopic wizards who had mistaken him for a demon! They wanted to summon him; to bind him as their slave! Tom put up a fight, but they fought back even harder and succeeded in ripping him from his world into theirs; binding him as a demon slave to an egomaniac named Lenamare.
    And why had these deranged wizards summoned him? Well it turns out they were about to go to war with another wizard, and they needed a secret weapon: Tom!

    Tom had always laughed at the idea that ‘the demon weed’ was a ‘gateway drug’ but whatever Reggie’s joints were, they were definitely a ‘gateway’ drug.

    Jenn was a journeyman Thaumaturge at Lenamare’s Academy of Wizardry. School was a living hell. Oh, she was learning a lot, thanks to Master Trisfelt, but the Head Master and Head Mistress were insufferable egomaniacs. Head Mistress Jehenna seemed bent on making Jenn miserable with her unrealistic demands and eviscerating criticism.

    If this was not bad enough, the Head Master, Lenamare, had gone and got in a squabble with another wizard, Exador, and now Exador was marching his army on the school.

    And to top it off, during what was supposed to be a routine classroom demonstration on demon summoning, Lenamare and the class had stumbled upon what they had thought was a minor demon and tried to bind it.

    Unfortunately, it was definitely NOT a minor demon. It was a Greater Demon, something so powerful and Evil that they were almost never conjured onto the Planes of Man. Naturally being Lenamare, Lenamare insisted on trying to bind it to his will so he could use it to destroy Exador and his army.

    So the question was: Would Exador’s army ravage and kill her, or would the school’s newest defense consume her immortal soul? [/quote]


    Uh… I like the original blurb more. This one sounds a bit awkward.


    Cool. Trying to get a good blurb is tricky.


    Quick blurb. Feel free to flesh it out more.

    What’s a guy gotta do? Tom Perkinje just wanted to be a part of the gang. Instead, he gets a new body and his soul bound to an egocentric wizard. Caught between two warring wizards and chased by the forces of Law and Goodness as he tries to adapt to his current form – can Tom survive his time in Astlan where everyone thinks he’s Evil?

    Don’t you know going to school is dangerous? At least, if you live in Astlan it is. Jenn the journeyman Thaumaturge does at Lenamare’s Academy of Wizardry. Not only does she have taskmasters for teachers, her school has an army sieging outside of it and something even worse lurking inside – a Greater Demon that Jenn’s pretty sure will ravage and kill her if it wasn’t bound to the Headmaster, Lenamare.



    I love the school is dangerous in particular!

    I am thinking some of these lines might be great for ads. Early on I run ads in different places, sometimes with images. I like to spice them up with different blurbs, the idea that different blurbs work for different people.


    “You thought your school was bad-ass? Try Lenamare’s Academy of Wizardry!”

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