Alpha0 – Chapter 127

Welcome To Astlan Forums Alpha Reading Alpha0 – Chapter 127

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    Author error…

    I need to have a better record keeping system.

    I have all this stuff in Excel, like cast list, etc etc. However, I also need to expand the “world list”

    Between keeping track of what different groups are, what different suns are called etc it is getting difficult to manage.

    I started working on a writing program to track all this sort of stuff, as well as write the book, and eventually be able to synch with a web version for Beta Readers to interact with, but like so many programs I come up with, I ran out of time and had to 1) write this book and 2) do work that paid the bills in the meantime.


    A web version eh? It’s called google docs with privacy settings. You can pull our emails for our forum accounts and grant access.


    This scene:

    Nysegard, Krallnomton

    Talarius had wandered through several tunnels finding some dead ends before finally discovering a passage that had light on the far end. As he headed toward the light he was somewhat surprised that it was not the red light of the Abyss, but rather appeared to be more like natural daylight. He hurried on towards what was now clearly a tunnel exit.

    Okay, I get that winds up in Nysegard for the bulk of the scene, but he starts in Mount Doom. When I first saw the scene location I was wondering if I had missed something. Why was Talarius in Nysegard? I thought he was in Doom? Ohhhhh, then I get it later in the scene but I was confused at the beginning.

    This is the only scene where the character’s starting location did not match the scene’s title’s location.


    On the Isle of Doom they called the forces of Tiernon manning the citadels the “Shield of Tiernon”. The crew from Astlan is told that is the “Scythe of Tiernon”.

    Was there a name change in-universe or is this author error?


    No, my custom web version is more collaborative.

    Multiple users, multiple comments, and I can see/apply changes by users or sets of users to see how they compare/contrast.

    I haven’t used google docs in some time….how are they for collaborative editing? Version Control?

    Also, the other part is my story editor will actually treat scenes as independent mini-documents that can be grouped into chapters/rearranged.

    So I can create different versions including/excluding sections or rearranged. When I compile a version, my “web editor” will be able to read a version dynamically and let people comment/edit/work on each section.

    I.e. total crazy control of features on my part. Of course, it’s exactly those crazy features that ensure I never actually finish any of my “dream programs”

    I’m good at controlling scope creep in other developers working for me, or scope creep in users trying to tell me what to write. But if I am the “End User” and “Developer” I am an absolute nightmare of scope creep. I can tell others no, but I don’t listen to myself, I don’t take no for an answer.

    I’m starting to sound like Eliot from Mr Robot…or maybe Tizzy….


    Also in this scene I find it hard to believe that the D’Orcs with their tens of thousands of years of battle experience would not have stationed guards at such an obvious checkpoint as the gate between the Abyss and Nysegard. Not that they would have stopped Talarius, but they should have at least commented on him leaving the Abyss seeing as he is still technically a hostage.


    They might have at the beginning but don’t forget when Doom went offline so did everything else, so there was no point in having guards at the gate when it stopped working. They also needed all there people to help protect the Isle of Doom and fight against the stormlords and the unlife.


    They were pretty dejected and crapped out by the time Tom got there. Remember how Tom and crew snuck in?

    But…you are right, Tom was trying to return things to full security, so a guard would make sense, however, in the case of Talarius wandering through, they had already secured both sides.

    By the point Talarius comes through, they knew the Isle of Doom was “secure” (albeit I wouldn’t completely trust it) and Doom was “secure”

    But finally, even if there was a guard there, and I can put one there, and might, Talarius was Tom’s oath sworn hostage, Tom had given Talarius free range of Mount Doom, so why not the Isle of Doom? My bet is that a guard would have just nodded at Talarius and let him through.

    All the Doom D’Orcs knew who he was, and everyone from Nysegard (assuming an Nysegard guard) would recognize him as a Knight of Tiernon–and yes they were pissed about Sentir Fallon, but the Nyseguards forces of Tiernon had saved their buts anyway and were considered allies.


    I agree they shouldn’t stop him, but you describe him as wandering through the tunnel onto the Island of Doom as if he didn’t meet anybody on the way there. It just seems strange that he wouldn’t. Besides even if both locations are secure, one is still HQ and one an outpost. I would think there would be guards, just so that nobody could sneak through at least… I mean assassins, shadows, and what not. Also on the Abyss side you have a lot of maybe not all too loyal demons (Lillith’s guys) with a straight path out of the Abyss. I know Tom has a link to them, but out of almost two thousand demons one or two are going to test it given the opportunity.


    Yes, will add more people in there. Might make for a bit more tension on Talarius’ part as well. Will they stop me? What is he hiding down here?

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