Alpha0 – Chapter 122
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This is very weak ending to the Mount Doom: DOA + 3, Early Third Period POV of Talarius.
“Talarius sighed, squeezed his eyes tightly shut and rolled onto his side bringing his knees up, pulling the covers over his shoulders trying to bring on a bit more sleep to quiet his brain’s frantic chatter.”
Leading up to this final sentence we establish that he is depressed, he is having a crisis of faith, and he is struggling with the truth. This is a key scene before he goes to Nysegard to discover Ocrus was a Lord of Light there.
And yet… it lacks punch.
I do not get a sense of how bad his depression is and that also means that when it comes time for him to pull himself out of his depression I won’t have a clear idea of how much he struggled and overcame. Instead it would result in somewhat cookie-cutter character. Arrogance -> Humbled -> Learns truth -> Adapts. Okay, nice, I expected that. He still doesn’t feel like a person.
Excellent point. I need a way to flag these to get back to.
I’m afraid that by answering, I might miss the original post when I get to being able to deal with it.
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