Well, clearly none of your friends are mortgage lenders or work for credit card companies, banks, investment firms or tech startups otherwise they would realize that this is simply Standard Operating Procedure in the business world.
Hmm, spoilers?
Well, as you can imagine, people finally realize that I am the true protagonist, and it’s revealed that I’m dating both Bess and Lillith, being doubly endowed, I need double the babes.
<--looking furtively for lightning bolts, acid, fireballs, etc-->
Antefalken has a very embarrassing moment when Asmodeus requires him to sing his favorite song or Tom and Rupert will be killed permanently, and Antefalken’s voice breaks causing him to stumble mentally and fumble the words and the 14 book series ends prematurely halfway through book 2.
Oh, and then Boggy and I get married to fulfill Tom’s dying wish that we be partners in love as well as business.
But then, Lillith and Bess get jealous and kill Boggy permanently, and then they start fighting each other, over which one gets me and then…oh..OH…
Uh…sorry need to go…
:^o