Beta 0 – Chapter 118 / Chapter 121 inconsistency
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[b]Chapter 118
Mount Doom: DOA + 2, Mid First Period[/b][color=blue]Tom had to admit sharing memories of both the battle and Vaselle’s conversations with the others regarding what Gastrope had told them was extremely efficient. It was much faster and a far richer that speaking; it would just take some learning not to accidentally overshare.[/color]
[b]Chapter 121
Murgatroy[/b][color=blue]They had all eaten dinner together, everyone, including Gastrope and Tom had shown them the balling of the battle.
That battle! It was absolutely insane! Vaselle could barely understand much of hte magic that had been used.[/color]In Chapter 118 – Tom is thinking about how he shared the memory of battle with Vaselle……while in Chapter 121 Vaselle is talking about the balling of the battle as if this is the first time that he’s seen it….
Either:
Remove the mention of Tom sharing the memory in Chapter 118..
or
Change Chapter 121 to imply that although Vaselle has the direct memory from Tom – the balling is the first time that the others have seen the battle, and also it comes from a different perspective then the memory from Tom – ie. he could see things that Tom couldn’t
Thanks for catching. This is because I went back and changed it so that people saw the balling. Originally, he’d just memory shared with Gastrope’ who told people. For reasons later on, I changed it during alpha to be a balling.
the paragraph before in 118 need updating too
He had checked on Vaselle and the rest of his people in Astlan shortly before swearing in the new recruits and shown them the balling of the battle over their campfire. They were camping outside of Murgatroy to avoid having to stable Schwarzenfürze in the wargtown and cause further problems.
He had also shared memories with Vaselle so they could fully recap what the other had been up to. Tom had to admit sharing memories of both the battle and Vaselle’s conversations with the others regarding what Gastropé had told them was extremely efficient. It was much faster and a far richer than speaking; it would just take some learning not to accidentally overshare.
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