Alpha Read Update

[MommaGx3]

Ah, slipping back into the lovely warmth of the abyss is always delightful! I have completed my first read of the beta version released on the 3rd. I simply flew through it. It moved along quite nicely. I do have a few general comments or questions that simply filtered across my mind the first time I read.

First, while Rupert and Rog did make their appearance, it almost felt like an after thought. Other than the one reference Tom made about being a bad father and his finally releasing the secret of his immaculate conception toward fatherhood… there really wasn’t much of a connection between them. Their relationship in book one and two was so much a focus that it was noticeably missing in book 3.

For new readers, how much were we exposed to the ranger god? To me, he just seemed to come in out of nowhere and was suddenly taking a center stage. I actually have to look at the site to find out more about it. Maybe it’s just me, but I felt that it was a little rough with this introduction to him.

I generally like the pace, but there is a lot of skipping around very quickly. I know you have concerns about the length and there is so much to share, but I don’t mind the length when it helps add more smoothness.

Lilith… She just got her ass handed to her with those chaos folks… Whatever happened with that, there is foreshadowing that there may be kick back for her in her use of them for the battle. But the big battle and those baddies were prime at the end of book 2. Now in book 3, they are just kind of an after-thought. I would have expected to see just a bit more about them, even maybe a segment or two introducing their involvement or at least investigation. Lots of references about them not liking that absolute zero was found as a weakness… but where are they? WHere do they come from? How did she get them to work for her… where is the fallout?

Where are our little snippets of adventure as our two brilliant mages attempt to try more creative ways to open the book? We again got a little foreshadowing about the relationship between Tizzy and his book but we didn’t see hide nor hair of it. Considering how pivotal it is to the overall arc of the story. I expected to see at least one humorous attempt by Jeh & Len (hehehe, JehLen can be their little pet name) to open it where it then goes agro and tries to eat them!!!

Speaking of Tizzy… that conversation between Ramses and Exador… it felt a little off where he didn’t think TIsdale was Tizzy. I mean, he’s a brilliant strategist who has pulled the wool over the eyes of not only the casting classes but the gods themselves… that conversation just struck me as weak.

Anyway, I intend to read over it again and this time look more deeply into the questions and thoughts I had, as well as any of the little nitpicky grammar and mechanics that woke my inner grammardemonnazi.

So, since I shared all that “negative” criticalness. I have to say, AWESOME! OOooo, I’m so excited that he’s learned the ways of dorkitude. When’s he going to try to Dorkitude a human or dwarf? I want to see a dw’ark!!!! I LOVE Vaselle, he is SOOOO cute. I just want to wrap him up in lots of demonic yumminess and put him on the shelf.

TTFN!!!

[MommaGx3]

Thread for general updates for beta reading.

[MommaGx3]

Um, I think I put this in the wrong place, could someone move this, lol.

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