Alpha 1 – Chapter 129

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  • #1407
    Iume
    Member
    #6316
    Iume
    Member

    In the meeting of the wizards we have this line: [i]He turned to look at Randolf. “Did you not know he was an archdemon?”[/i]

    By this point we’ve establish that everyone except Damien knows that Randolf knew that Exador as an archdemon. Now, this IS Damien asking but then the rest of the scene and their interrogation of Randolf feels like it is happening too late. Is the meeting they are having just bringing Damien up to speed or is it more? If more, why wasn’t this held earlier?

    In Chapter 120 there is the scene: [i]Freehold, Council Chamber: Early Sixth Period[/i]. During this time there a sort of informal discussion of Randolf and Exador’s relationship and what is known. 129’s scene is similar and probably not needed as a repeat. 129 retreads old ground from the reader’s POV and adds nothing.

    Also, waaaaaaaay back in Chapter 120 we have this conversation between Damien and Tamarin: [i]Damien shook his head. “Uhm, yes. Are you saying that was Exador? That he was responsible for Abancia?” Tamarin nodded. “So Randolf knew all along that Exador was an archdemon?” Tamarin grinned and nodded again. “As did his father and grandfather. Exador arranged Randolf’s father’s accident when the old archimage got too uppity for Exador.”[/i]

    So Damien knows and has no reason to doubt. Thus the inquiry in 129 seems very redundant.

    What is the difference between when you use archdemon and Archdaemon or however it is spelt from book 2? When do you use which?

    Holy shit! Tizzy got revenge for Orcus by killing the Dark Apostle that lead the forces that killed Orcus! It also implies that Tizzy knew the Unlife were involved while no one does. Or is just coincidence but this IS Tizzy.

    #6317
    Giwdul
    Member

    I agree with Iume that the scene in freehold where Damien and the council quiz Randolf feels a bit redundant.

    Possibly rewrite it to be more of a “get everyone on the same page” type of conversation rather than asking Randolf questions that the characters already knows the answers to.

    #6318

    Will take a look at it.

    I think the second scene was written before the first scene and I may have forgotten what exactly was said in the second scene.

    I.e. Alpha-0 had the second scene but not the first, I added the earliest scene with the Council after alpha-0

    #6319
    Mikey
    Member

    Aedesin, Mount Ehiron: DOA + 8, First Period (Courts), Dawn Local Time

    The scoop of the conversation between Nét and Danu is hidden at the very end of the chapter, and is easy to overlook. If you miss it, you might miss a great deal in the future.

    [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_E4haW1upw[/youtube]

    #6320

    Yes there is a scoop there, a motivational factor if you will.

    I love the UPC!

    I really love it when the gloves start coming off, and the one announcer asked how long it would go on….

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