Beta 1 – Chapter 144
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[quote=Iume;5526]The way the subject of the sentence is setup it implies that Logoi is the only to show to wedding and the only one to put her away when you meant Orcus.[/quote]
Is this better?
“Orcus’ uncle.” Phaestus nodded. “Only one of my sister’s kids I ever liked. Well, Logoi is a decent kid, most of the time. Orcus was the only of children to show up at her wedding—and agree to put her away when it became necessary.
I actually went back and forth on whether I was including Orcus and Logoi at the wedding and putting her away vs just Orcus.
So, yeah, very confusing.
[quote]
[quote=Iume;5536]
“Can you try routing to another Doomalogue? Try Astlan!” Vosh shouted as he stabbed his sword into the diaphragm of the avatar he was battling.“Crap! That’s not working either! I am unable to reach any of the Doomalogues other than the local one and something is wrong with that! We are completely cut off!”
[/quote]Change Astlan to be a world not in the localverse.Otherwise it conflicts with the new text about forcing links during battle would take too much concentration.
[/quote]Wasn’t addressed in Beta 2. This text reads as if Orcus tried to establish a connection. Of course it failed! It has nothing to do with the interdiction though. Maybe Gormegast?
[quote=Iume;5526][quote]
“Orcus’ uncle.” Phaestus nodded. “Only one of my sister’s kids I ever liked. Well, Logoi is a decent kid, most of the time. [color=red]Also the only one to show up at her wedding— and the only one to finally put her away when it became necessary.[/color]
[/quote]The way the subject of the sentence is setup it implies that Logoi is the only to show to wedding and the only one to put her away when you meant Orcus.[/quote]
I agree. I was momentarily confused when I read it the first time.
[quote]
“Orcus’ uncle.” Phaestus nodded. “Only one of my sister’s kids I ever liked. Well, Logoi is a decent kid, most of the time. [color=red]Also the only one to show up at her wedding— and the only one to finally put her away when it became necessary.[/color]
[/quote]The way the subject of the sentence is setup it implies that Logoi is the only to show to wedding and the only one to put her away when you meant Orcus.
Hephaestus looked up to find both Tom [color=red]an[/color] Talarius staring at him. “What?” –> [color=red]and[/color]
That caused all chattering in the room to go silent as everyone was struck by the [color=red]shear horror[/color] of the moment hit home. In many ways, it personalized the situation that those at the Citadel were in now. –> [color=red]sheer horror[/color]
“Doom, and the Tartarvardenennead, [color=red]is[/color] not a signatory to the Concord of Conciliation, this is for a number of reasons, including conflict with the Courts of Chaos, as well as the fact that the Tartarvardenennead is not technically a pantheon in the traditional sense.” –> [color=red]are[/color]
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[quote]
“As to our advance party, Arg-nargoloth,” Tom looked to the commander, “you are to be in command of Doom itself, your [color=red]second[/color] is going to Nysegard in command of the [color=red]second[/color], correct?” “That is consistent with our practices for last ten or twelve thousand years.” Arg-nargoloth nodded in agreement.
[/quote]If this is policy for the 12,000 years then why was Vosh, Orcus’s general, fighting alongside him on Etterdam? Surely Arg-nargoloth was the SIC and Vosh An-non was the commander, so wouldn’t Arg have gone to Etterdam while Vosh stayed behind?
Also, second –> second-in-command, and then the other second –> second regiment.
—
[quote]
“Can you try routing to another Doomalogue? Try Astlan!” Vosh shouted as he stabbed his sword into the diaphragm of the avatar he was battling.“Crap! That’s not working either! I am unable to reach any of the Doomalogues other than the local one and something is wrong with that! We are completely cut off!”
[/quote]Change Astlan to be a world not in the localverse. Otherwise it conflicts with the new text about forcing links during battle would take too much concentration.
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Our total forces are [color=red]one-fifth[/color] what they were at Etterdam, and we need to ensure that Mount Doom and the Isle of Doom are invulnerable to a repeat of Etterdam. –> [color=red]one-tenth[/color]?~22000 total at Etterdam. ~2000 D’Orcs left. Or are you counting Darflow’s people? I admit it roughly doubles but I don’t think they’re all that equivalent a force to the same number of D’Orcs.
[quote=Iume;5536]If this is policy for the 12,000 years then why was Vosh, Orcus’s general, fighting alongside him on Etterdam?Surely Arg-nargoloth was the SIC and Vosh An-non was the commander, so wouldn’t Arg have gone to Etterdam while Vosh stayed behind?
Also, second –> second-in-command, and then the other second –> second regiment.[/quote]
Arg-nargoloth was by tradition, the guy who took command of Doom while Orcus was out. Orcus primary general, was always at his side.
They rearranged and renumbered the regiments after Etterdam. Darg-Krallnom took over as commanding general for Vosh, and military command of the army.
The original first regiment was Vosh’s, the second was Darg-nargoloth, the third was Arg-nargoloth. The other ones were scattered throughout the regiment numbers
Orcus took is first regiment, leaving his second and third along with several others (including partial regiments of regiments that with him)
So afterwards, Darg-krallnom and Arg-nargoloth rearranged things and created new regiments out of what they had left, some of their people became new commanders for new regiments formed from parts of regiments that had stayed behind for various reasons.
In particular, a good number of high tech guys stayed behind because high tech did not work on Etterdam.
He tried to reestablish the links through the Etterdam Doomalogue, but it was broken, something was wrong with it and he was having problems. He then tried to connect via other Doomalogues, such as on [color=red]Astlan[/color]. For those, all that he tried, he got no response, nothing.
“Can you try routing to another Doomalogue? Try Gormeghast, Astlan, any other!” Vosh shouted as he stabbed his sword into the diaphragm of the avatar he was battling.
“Crap! Those are not working either! I am unable to reach any of the Doomalogues other than the local one and something is wrong with that! We are completely cut off!”
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